Page 83 of Wild Cub

“Okay, you have to let loose, or something might pop and it might be your favorite body part,” I joke. He lifts me higher and carries me to the kitchen, plopping me down on the counter with my feet dangling. He buries his head into my lap, putting his arms around my waist, still silent. His deep sigh as if a weight had been lifted. I rake my fingers through his hair, which is surprisingly not in a bun. I’ve seen many sides of this man in the last few months, but this is new. Helpless, concerned, and a bit submissive if I had to name it.

I sense the fear, the silent emotions he must be feeling. I gather his head in my hands and lift it up to meet my eyes. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I kiss his forehead, letting myself rest for a beat. “I’m okay.”

“I told you, you scare me sometimes,” he says softly. Not yelling, not raising his voice, just gentleness. “We had Doc check you out before coming here. He said it must be a response to the stress, that you were fine. But you didn’t wake up right away.” Maybe it’s my body of trying to comprehend what was happening around us.

“I scared you.” I repeat his words. He nods. “You worried that you’d lost me?” I ask, possibly knowing the answer. He nods.

“Look at me, I’m here. You can feel me. You can touch me.” I place one of his hands on my chest. “It’s going to take a lot more than a slander video and stress to take out this woman,” I softly laugh. I’m not indestructible, but it’s going to take a lot for someone to take me from this world. His body releases the tension I could feel him carrying. I still question myself and whether he is real or a fantasy.

“Explain what happened,” I demand softly.

He sighs, as if it’s a loaded answer. “After the kitchen, after we got Sheldon out of the building, Matthew had run to get me and said there was an incident. I got to the room near the end of the video, when pictures of you and the Foundation were flickering across the screen. I saw the fear in your eyes. Carla had rushed to the stage to do some damage control, I guess, but you collapsed. Thankfully, Darius was downstairs. He said that between exhaustion, stress, and the events of the night, you’d passed out, but recommended that once you woke up, we get you checked out.” I didn't think he could do it, but he definitely explained it all.

I continue to play with his hair. “Alexander, look at me. I’m fine. Just another bump in the damn road.” I kiss him gently, not wanting to spook him any more than I already have. I still wanted to be strong for him, to show him that I’m not fragile and there are other situations that I have been through that should have scared me in the end, “Also…. you undressed me?”

He cocks an eyebrow and a cynical smile. I shove him. “Explains a lot.”

“Exactly. It’s easy to do this.” He says as his hand slips between my thighs, under the simple black t-shirt I woke up in. I let out a gasp. I squeeze my thighs around his hand. “Ah, you're saying no.”

“More like not right now. We have a day to get through. Did you forget?” I get off his counter and make my way around the island. He watches as I steal a fresh biscuit. “Family day. Seriously, how do you not remember?”

“You do realize we moved it to the compound, right?” He stands back. I shake my head. “In light of recent events, security’s a must. Plus, you owe me something you promised yesterday.” He walks away from the kitchen, leaving me speechless.

He heads toward the bedroom while my slight OCD looks at the kitchen, itching to clean it. “Leave it darlin’,” I hear from the room. Damn it. I shuffle to the bedroom.

“You realize I need to shower and wear my own clothes, right? Unless you want me to flash your men,” I taunt, leaning on the bed. He throws sweats at my face and hands me my necklace.

“We will. But can’t hold it against me for wanting you just the way you are.”

I smirk. “Another time. Right now, I just need to be surrounded by the kiddos, renew the spirit. And eat some food.”

“And fulfill your promise.”

“What promise is that?”

He peeks through the bathroom he’d slid into. “You’ll remember when you see. Get your things, we’ll leave in a few minutes.”

“And you’ll clean the kitchen.”

“Maybe,” he echoes from the bathroom. I can’t help but smile.

After heading to my place to get ready for family day, we head out to the compound. It’s been a while since I have been to one and I’m looking forward to it. Perhaps it’ll be the distraction and reset I need. Plus, who wouldn’t want to see a group of hard-ass, serious bikers become like marshmallows around kids?

“Alexander, do you want kids?” I ask as we get closer to the compound. We’re jerked across the road. He swerves the truck in shock, someone laying on their horn.

He looks back at me. “Umm… you’re not.. I mean.”

I put my lips between my teeth to keep from laughing. “As much as I love to see you stumble over yourself and leave you speechless, no there is nothing to worry about”yet,“I was just curious.”

Alexander thinks for a moment, his eyes straight on the road. “I won’t lie to you, darlin’, if you asked me and I wasn’t in the club nor the life I have right now, I’d say yes in a heartbeat. This club, this life, can be brutal and dangerous for families.” He slides his hand over my thigh. “My head would be so concerned for your safety and anyone that came along. To put you all in danger, it’s not fair.”

To say I’m disappointed in the answer would be a lie, and my face must show it, because he pulls the truck to the side of the road. He turns and looks at me, right as a small tear rolls down my cheek. I don’t mean to be emotional, damnit.

“Darlin’, if it was another life, I'd fill a house and land with kids and bikes and animals. I would choose you and kids.”

“But not in this life.”

He looks down, saddened by my reply. “My darlin’ girl. I want to fill your world with happiness and joy. I want every morning to be laughter in the kitchen, I want every quiet moment when you have your nose buried in a book. I want to show you the endless love I feel for you. I want to show the world that you and I could do good in the world, even when we have to do things we are not entirely proud of.”

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