1
Nash
During the rest of the summer, I worked through my list of remaining struggles, I kept circling back to Steve. Finding a way to a meaningful relationship with him would go a long way in my quest to leave the past behind, and it was time to deal with this.
“I’ll be with the girls, enjoying my two weeks of freedom before the fall semester starts.” Aya hugged and kissed me, promising to always have her phone on her. “It’ll be okay.”
I scowled. “How do you know?”
“Because Steve loves you. He’s just rubbish at saying it.”
I held on to those words as I forced myself to walk into my kitchen. I settled at the table while Steve pretended to ignore me as he seasoned something bubbling in a pot.
“Will you tell me?” I asked.
His shoulders stiffened, but then he turned off the stove and went to the fridge. He grabbed two kombuchas from the large expanse and sat one in front of me.
“You expect me to drink this?”
His lips twitched. “Yeah. Just like the three you did yesterday.”
I scowled. Guilty. They were gross and wonderful all at once, a total taste-bud-blowing experience.
I twisted off the top and took a long gulp. He nodded in approval, which warmed my stomach.
“I met Carolina whiIe I was on R&R in Fiji. She was there on vacation—avoiding…er, Brad’s…um…”
I tugged my lower lip, considering. I shook my head, closed my eyes, and refocused on Steve. “So you and my mother had an affair.”
“I loved her.” His gaze was steady, his cheeks flushed.
“So did every other man in America.”
“No, I loved her.”
“Then why didn’t you ask her to leave Brad and—”
“You’re not hearing me. I loved her. She was a model then. This was before the acting. I was a grunt in the Army. I was never going to college, and I wasn’t going to ever make it that far up the chain of command. What could I offer her? I still had years on my initial enlistment. Plus, I was a kid—barely nineteen.”
I grimaced. “I really don’t like thinking of you that age, banging my mom.”
His face stiffened but a hint of humor crept into his eyes. “Better that you don’t, then.”
I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Sounds to me like she took advantage of you. She was…what? Thirty?”
His lips flipped up in a bit of a smile. “I guess. Not that her age mattered to me. And it was never possible for Carolina to take advantage of a man.”
I waved my hand, dismissing my parents’ sex life. I might have grown up in Austin, but I’d seen that sex was pretty much a twenty-four-seven commodity. Brad made sure of that. But that didn’t mean I wanted to think about my parents that way.
“So, you left to go back to…”
“Japan. I was stationed there.”
“And my mother came home…”
“And reconciled with Brad. I didn’t know about you,” he said. His gaze was steady. “That would have changed things.”
“How?” I asked.