Page 26 of Craving Oblivion

“You bastard. I was finally moving on. Finally! It’s taken years…” I closed my eyes and tipped my head back, trying to find some peace. But meditation no longer came as easily as it had when I’d lived in Tibet. Or even in Austin, where I’d felt grounded and safe, thanks to my mother and Nash.

I attacked the box, clawing at it. I had to know what he’d sent me.

I broke three of my nails in the process and winced at the blood oozing from one of my cuticles as I fumbled to open the pretty wooden box inside. It looked like it had been carved in Tibet. I frowned. When would Nash have traveled there? Why…

My breath caught and tears spilled over my lashes as I stared down at the malas. I gasped as their cool weight settled in my palm, which warmed the beads. These weren’t the ones that had broken that day in the coffee shop. A pang filled me. Dammit. I missed those beads—that connection to my mother. But Nash and I had broken that string. We’d severed their connection to each other—just as I’d hoped we’d sever ours.

That’s why I’d told him I hated him.

I touched the jade beads. Jade represented the heart chakra, loving energy, and healing.

“What are you playing at, Nash?”

I’d expected my malas. The ones my mother gave me. I set the beads back in the box and slammed the lid shut. I swiped at my tears, huffing out a big breath in an attempt to get myself under control.

I headed down the hallway to my bathroom to wash my face, angry with the redness around my eyes. I reapplied basic makeup with hurried strokes and then had to change my dress and shoes after I bandaged my fingers, which had left smear marks all over the pretty fabric.

I refused to look at the package as I collected my purse and coat. I marched to the door and even made it halfway out before I turned back and grabbed the box, stuffing it into my bag.

I locked the door and headed off to brunch, though my mind kept circling back to Nash’s laughing eyes and sweet smile.

13

Aya

Alistair met me just inside the door of the restaurant with social kisses on each cheek. He swiped raindrops from my shoulder as I handed my umbrella to one of the staff and noted my bandaged fingers with concern—after he’d squeezed them and caused me to wince.

“What happened?” he asked. His brow puckered.

“An incident with the tea kettle,” I replied. “The worst part was I didn’t get my cup.”

“We’ll rectify that now, darling.” He seemed to hesitate. “Since you’re improperly caffeinated, I’ll tell you your family and mine are joining us today.”

I jerked back, nearly bumping into another patron as they entered. My purse slid down my arm and plopped to the floor, disgorging the contents.

I gritted my teeth in frustration as I bent down to gather everything. I had been fine until Jenna had handed me Nash’s package. Now I was a mess of nerves, and I didn’t like the live-wire feeling.

“Damn him,” I murmured.

“What was that?” Alistair asked. He rose to his feet in a graceful move, the Tibetan box in his hand. I reached for it, but he already had it open.

“What extraordinary craftsmanship. Are these from your mother?”

I chewed on the inside of my lip. “My mother gave me a set years ago,” I said, opting for diplomacy.

“Ah, right. They’re lovely. You should wear them. You know, to showcase your heritage.”

I hated how easily Alistair conflated East Asian customs with my mother’s background. I wanted to snatch the box away and tuck Nash’s gift out of sight—and out of mind—but once again, Alistair was a step ahead of me. He pulled the bracelet from its velvet lining and settled it around my wrist. The tassel tickled the delicate skin there, making me even more aware of the connection with Nash I would never be able to break.

Sure, we might be continents apart, but Nash knew what these beads represented and where they came from. And he’d chosen this stone to indicate a message, one I wasn’t sure I wanted to acknowledge.

Still, I couldn’t help but touch the intricate carvings on the small beads.

“Lovely.” Alistair beamed. “Now you’re an elegant mix of East and West.” He plopped the box into my purse and scanned the space.

I frowned at his comment, mulling it over in my mind. A bracelet didn’t change my appearance or integral beliefs. To think that was shallow. Vapid, even. Or… I swallowed back my sudden concern that Alistair was so unaware of the rest of the world that he simply assumed such comments were benign and not judgmental.

But that couldn’t be—Alistair was considerate. Even now, he settled his palm at the small of my back and guided me toward our table. The more cynical part of me wondered if he worried I’d bolt and wanted to be able to catch me before I darted away. Not telling me he’d invited my father… I touched the jade beads, letting them steady me just as the set my mother had given me had. I’d missed that connection to her terribly.

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