Page 63 of Love, Untangled

Penelope

The moment Pen received the call from Shiloh about the victims and Carlo’s silence, she hurried toward his house. She worried as she opened the gate between their properties, Alpaca Man at her heels. Lydia had settled into a stall in the barn, seemingly content to lie there and munch on the hay Pen tossed in.

Next week the veterinarian would visit and probably confirm her suspicion that she was going to be an alpaca granny soon. At twenty. Typically the idea would bring a smile to her face, but not today.

Carlo sat on the porch, in the swing where they had watched the sunset just a few nights ago. He was covered in soot, his face a grim mask that told the tale of the night’s woes.

“Carlo.”

“I’m not in the mood for company.”

She settled onto the wooden seat next to him, encircling his biceps with her arms and resting her head on his shoulder. “Good thing I’m not company.”

“Penelope,” he growled.

She tensed but she continued to sit there with him.

He sighed, and it seemed like it came from some deep, exhausted place. “Cora died like the girl tonight, but the girl looked like you.”

Pen bit her lip so hard, that the metallic tang of blood coated her tongue. Even worse than she’d imagined. So much worse. No wonder he was hurting.

“Smoke inhalation. She was perfect. Limp but perfect. But I couldn’t restart her damn heart. Too long without oxygen.”

Pen squeezed her eyes shut as tears flooded them. Carlo needed her to be strong, to listen and shoulder some of this burden.

“She looked like she was sleeping. So did Cora. So peaceful. Eerily beautiful. But I knew. I could tell. She was…” His chest heaved as if the entire world had landed on his back. “I hate it. That image of Cora. I didn’t even have time to warn her.”

Pen shook her head, eyes still closed. He needed this purge, needed to let his anger out, but…like this? She wasn’t sure this would help him heal. Any scab that had grown over Cora’s loss had been ripped off, bleeding.

He shouldn’t have gone. He wasn’t ready.

“I wasn’t ready, but I wanted to prove to you that I was.”

She bit her cheek this time so she wouldn’t say anything. Better to get the poison out. He was talking; that had to be a good sign.

“I wanted to move forward. With you.” He cursed. “How stupid was that? I’m just going to keep paying for not saving Cora. That girl tonight, she was twenty-three. She had her whole life in front of her. But I wasn’t fast enough.”

“No, Carlo—”

“I wasn’t. If we’d gotten there two minutes earlier, she’d still be alive.”

“You don’t know that.”

He rose, disentangling himself from her. “In fact, I do. I know that I’m a shit firefighter and a shittier man. I let my wife die and I let that girl die. I won’t let you die too. Not on my watch.”

He strode across the porch.

“Please, Carlo, don’t go. I know you’re upset—”

His hands fisted and he turned toward her. “You know nothing. You don’t have a clue of how I’m feeling. What I’ve lived through.”

Pen licked her lips, nerves jangling.

Carlo’s eyes flared, wild and filled with shadows. “I cracked her ribs tonight, just like I did with Cora. I wanted her heart to beat again so badly…” He inhaled sharply. “Go home, Pen. And don’t come back. I can’t see you again. I can’t… I can’t… People I care about die.”

He shut the door with a soft click. The turn of the deadbolt pulled a cry from her throat. No, this couldn’t be the end. They’d been laughing, kissing, loving each other.

Alpaca Man nudged her with his head. She scratched his ears absentmindedly as she stared at the door. She kept her butt on the seat, willing him to reopen it.

---