Page 89 of Still Here Without You

“I’m going to interrupt your panicked thoughts. I shouldn’t have joked about that. I’m sorry.”

“So you don’t want me?” I ask in confusion.

“Don’t get me wrong. You’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you?”I think.My lips pull into a frown though I'm not sure why.

“You look disappointed now. Is it better if I want you or if I don’t?”

“Ummm.”What is wrong with me? It’s so much better if he doesn’t want me.

“It’s better if you don’t want me, but a little part of me liked the idea that a thirty-two-year-old gorgeous man might have had a thing for me.”

Mark, I mean Eli, sighs. “Delilah, you are fucking beautiful, and if things were different, I would absolutely be all over you. But…”

“I’m broken?” Why am I acting like this? Like I’m being rejected.

“I probably should have led with this, but…I’m gay.”

“Gay?”I did not see that coming.

“Yep.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Well, I don’t know what else I’m meant to say… congrats?” I ask, my face scrunching in question.

Eli pulls me into a hug and kisses my head as I smile. “Oh, Del, I can see why Joel loves you.”

My smile fades. “I wish he wouldn’t.”

“Why? From the look on your face, I’d say you feel the same.”

“It’s a long fucked-up story, but the short of it is…I need him to get over me. For his sake.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Maybe one day I’ll explain it to you. You know. If we become friends.” I try to hide my smile and watch as Eli’s smile lights up his face.

“Here’s hoping,” he repeats his earlier statement.

When I get inside, Mom’s sitting at the kitchen counter eating breakfast.

“Should I be worried that you were dropped off in a very expensive town car by a man in an expensive-looking suit?”

“I don’t know. Is that something that would worry you, or make you proud?”

Mom rolls her eyes. “I only want you to be happy. And we all knowwhomakes you happy.”

“Mom…”

“I know. I know. So who was he, and why is he dropping you off at six thirty in the morning?”

I sit down next to Mom and tell her the whole story. Well, almost all of it. She’s just put a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of me when my phone dings with a text.

“Maybe that’s your new best friend.”

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