Page 83 of Still Here Without You

Chapter Thirty-One

Joel

“Fuck!Fuck.Goddammit.”Ipunch my leg harder with each word out of my mouth before banging my head against the headrest behind me. "Fuck!"

“Hey, no cursing in my car,” the Uber driver says, cutting off my rant.Shit!

“Hey, man. I’m sorry. I—”

“Nah, I’m just messing with you. Bad night?” His eyes find mine in the rearview mirror.

Running my hands down my face, I laugh incredulously. “Not all bad, but the ending sucked.”

“Did you break up with your girl or something? I saw the chick. She was hot.”

I huff out another laugh. “She’s hot all right. Hot andfuckingcold. Women, huh?”

“I feel ya. My girl and I have been together for six years, and I’m still working her out.”

I shake my head with a grin because that’s exactly how I feel. I don’t think I’ll ever work Del out.

Fucking nightclubs. Why did I go?Nightclubs are not my scene. Ever. Give me a bar any day of the week. I was there for a friend’s birthday. I almost didn’t go. Now, I’m not sure what would have been better. Staying home and never seeing Del…never touching her…or the reality of what played out? Fuck, I don’t even know what happened. I mean, I know what triggered her sudden change in attitude, but why? Did it just bring back memories of my fuckup, or is there more to it? I just had to mention kids. Of course her mind went to me and Rachel.Dammit. Then there was the jacket…bringing that up wasn’t my brightest idea. It only made things worse. It wasn’t even about the jacket. That was just a metaphor for every part of me that she owns. I wanted to see if any part ofherstill wanted it…me…fuck, I don’t know. All I know is she pushed me away, again.

A little part of me wants to scream as random thoughts bounce around my head, but I hold back. What a fucked-up ending to a great night.Marky fucking Mark.What the fuck is with her choosing to stay with him?My fists clench at the thought of his smug face. I’ve never wanted to fight a guy so badly in my life. The thought of my knuckles connecting with his jaw gives me much more joy than it should. Delilah and I need to talk. She’s holding on to a lot from our past, and until we hash it out, I don’t think she’ll ever move on, but I know a little part of her wants to. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have let me that close to her tonight. Fuck, she really knows how to mess with my head. That moment was hot as hell, but it’s not lost on me that we didn’t kiss. That her lips never even came close to mine. I couldn’t even tell you who was holding back more. Her for a reason she’s yet to reveal, or me because I want her to make the first move. Maybe that was stupid on my part; after all, she let me get her off, and that’s not something Delilah would let just anyone do.

“We’re here,” my Uber driver says, and I’m shocked to see we're in front of my place. “Good luck with your girl.”

“Thanks, man. I’m gonna need it.”

I rate him highly and tip heavily in the app. He deserved it. He knew when to speak and when to shut up to leave me with my thoughts, something I value in a driver.

I stumble into the house and beeline straight for the kitchen. I need more alcohol. I’m knocking back my second glass when the front door slams open and Dylan and Summer walk through. Despite the shit I’ve been through tonight, I can’t hide my excitement at seeing them together. “Besties!” I yell, throwing my hands in the air.

Summer shakes her head with a laugh, pulling me into a hug. They finally got their shit together a couple of weeks ago, on New Year’s Eve, and made it official. They’ve been inseparable ever since. Not that I’m complaining. I love having Summer around. I tell her as much as she laughs again.

“Are you still drinking?” Dylan says, eyeing the glass in my hand.

“I sure am. Care to join me?”

I’m expecting a no, so when he shouts, “hell yes,” I cheer at the top of my lungs, giving Summer a fright as I squeeze her tightly in my arms.

“Ugh! I couldn’t swallow another drop. I’m off to bed.”

I hold back a “that’s what she said,” as she kisses us both goodnight and heads to Dylan’s room. Dylan gawks at her as she walks away. Seeing them happy, after everything they’ve been through, makes my heart swell. And getting to spend more time with Summer is an added bonus.

When she disappears out of sight, Dylan turns to me with a smirk. “Season’s over! It’s a new year. Let’s get wasted.”

“I can’t fucking believe she broke up with me,” I say, and Dylan laughs.Asshole.

“Again, why is this coming up now? You weren’t even together. So you keep telling me.”

“Techno…technicalities. Let’s not talk about her. I don’t want to talk about it.”

It’s the third time I’ve brought her up, and each time I shut down the conversation.

“Good,” Dylan says, sinking down onto the sofa, hitting play on some upbeat music. My eyes narrow in annoyance.

“Good? Fuck you, man. You love it when I spill.”

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