Page 54 of Still Here Without You

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been talking for a long time and you were at Heartwood U. Where are you now?”

“Oh, I’m still here.”

“What? Why didn’t you say anything?”

He laughs, and I can picture him throwing his head back. “I’m sitting under our tree. I come here often. I like it.”

Lying back on my bed, I picture Joel lying beside me, his hands behind his head, staring up at the sky. “Our tree, huh? I only went there once.”

I hear rustling around, and then my phone alerts me of the change to a video call.Oh, God, I look awful, but I can’tnotanswer.I click accept and hold the phone in front of me. Joel’s lying exactly how I pictured him, only instead of looking up at the sky, he’s looking up at me.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Joel sighs, but it’s a happy one. “It’s so good to see you.”

I have to bite my cheek to hold back emotion. “It’s so good to see you too,” I say, studying his face, trying to figure out what’s the same, or what’s changed. Is he the Joel I left behind? His beard is still similar, and his dark eyes still hold the same intensity, but he’s looking a little weathered. Like he’s been through a lot since I last saw him. I have to wonder what he can see in me. How is this the first time we’ve thought of video calling, even though we talked about it before I left?

“So, to answer your question…”Huh? I asked a question?“Anywhere we’ve spent time together has becomeours,” he continues, and I inwardly melt.

Raising an eyebrow, I give him a pointed look. “Who knew you were a closet romantic?”

“I did, I knew. I told you as much several times. You just weren’t listening.” He mocks being offended while I bite back a smile, rolling my eyes instead.

“So does that mean your bed’s mine?”

“Ours, Delilah. I saidours. Stop trying to steal my shit. And no more eye rolls. You know how much I love them.”

I laugh out loud until it turns into another yawn. My hand covers my mouth quickly, but it’s not fast enough to hide it. Joel sees all.

“Time for you to sleep. You’re looking a little pale. Have you been sleeping okay?”

My chest feels tight at the obvious concern on his face. I’ve been sleeping fine, when I actually get into bed, but I’m always tired,always. “I’m sleeping. It’s probably just because I need to go to bed right now,” I lie.

He looks concerned, but he nods. “Okay, as long as you’re sure.”

“Ugh! I don’t want to go. It’s nice to see your face,” I say, changing the subject.

Joel gives me a cheesy smile and a wink. “I like your face too.”

An obnoxious laugh escapes me, and I cover my face with my arm as I feel the blush all over my skin. “I really need to go.”

“Let me see you one more time,” he asks with a soft tone.

Peeking through my fingers, I blink a few times and smile.

“So beautiful,” he whispers, and I feel my blush deepen.

“Thank you for the talk,” I say, not acknowledging his compliment.

“Anytime, Del. Have a good sleep.”

“I will. I—” I stop short of telling him I love him. It doesn’t help either of us.

“I love you too, Del.”But of course he knows.

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