Page 44 of Still Here Without You

He pulls me into a hug, and I have to wonder if I made the right decision. What’s the harm in us trying to do long distance? It’s not like I plan to be with anyone else, but I also don’t want to hold him back from seeing anyone else if he wants to.Will he want to?My stomach twists at the thought.

Joel’s brows furrow, and he frowns. “Your brain’s firing again.”

“Ugh, I know. I don’t know what to do. Am I making the wrong decision? Should we try—”

“No, you’re making a smart decision. One that I agree with, even if it appears otherwise.”

I’m not sure how that makes me feel, but Joel quickly senses my mood.

“I’m not planning on dating anyone else, Del. I just agree it will be easier on you if you don’t have the pressure of trying to fit in time with me. We’ll talk. We will. But there’s no pressure if we can’t.”

“Thank you, but you should…” I pause, wanting to say this, but also not. “You should be free to see other people. Like you said, there’s no pressure. If it happens, it—”

Joel grabs my face again, cutting off my words. “Del. I don’t want to do that. Let’s just see what happens, okay?”

I sigh before resting my forehead against his. “Okay,” I whisper. “So, will you sing for me?”

He laughs out loud, shaking his head. “Not a chance. But I promise that if I ever do…it will be that song.”

I pull back with a pout. “I’m starting to think you’re not as good as you claim, Joelle.”

Mood now successfully lightened, I can’t stop my smile as Joel bounces his eyebrows and smirks. “Oh, I’m better.”

Chapter Seventeen

Delilah

Mydadflipsanomelet as my mom sets the table. It’s our last catch-up before I leave tomorrow, and I’m already starting to miss them.

“Are you sure we can’t convince you to let us come to the airport?” my mom asks for the third time.

“I can’t, Mom. You know I hate goodbyes.”

I expect her to argue, but she lets it slide, something she’s been doing a lot over the last couple of weeks.

“We’re so proud of you, Delilah. You know that, right?” I wish I could say yes, but this is new to me. Another thing they’ve both been doing a lot lately—showering me with more love and affection. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents, but it’s not overly lovey-dovey. Growing up, they tried hard not to make it seem like they were favoring me over my brother, and as a result, they usually took it too far in the opposite direction. But now, that’s changed.

“I know, Mom,” I lie. “But thank you for saying it.”

Our breakfast plays out like any other one, except there’s an underlying tone of sadness. None of us mention it, but it’s there.

As soon as I finish eating I stand up, preparing to leave. I need to get this over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Mom pushes her chair out and rushes to my side, pulling me into her arms. “I’m going to miss you so much. Promise to call all the time. Every day.” It’s strange that people often say that when you’re going away, and yet they never wanted that while you were there. I try to answer her, but she’s squeezing me so tightly I can barely breathe, let alone speak.

“Give her some space, love. How’s she supposed to respond?” my dad says, tugging me from my mom’s grasp, wrapping his arms around me in his typical bear hug. “I’m going to miss you, kiddo. But I’m so proud of you and can’t wait to see you take the world by storm with your designs.”

I laugh, and it’s actually genuine. “I won’t really be able to show them any of my designs, but thank you for the vote of confidence.”

“Maybe not yet, but I know it will happen.”

Pulling back, I look up into his eyes and see his sincerity staring back at me. Dad and I have never really spoken about my love of fashion. It goes to show we don’t always notice what others see in us.

Tears form in my eyes at the thought of being so far away from my family. The people important to me…Mom, Dad, Rachel, and now Joel.

“Am I doing the right thing?” I whisper, not even sure if I want anyone to answer.

“Only you can answer that. But you’ve got a good head, kid. Always have. I have no doubt that you’ll always be where you want to be.”

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