Page 16 of Still Here Without You

“Hi, Courtney, how are you?”

“Well, thank you. Listen, I hate this part…” She pauses before she speaks, and I know what’s coming. “Unfortunately, we’ve…” Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to tune out the rest, but it doesn’t work. As soon as she’s finished her speech, I put on a smile in the hope that she’ll hear it in my voice and say, “I understand. Thank you for letting me know.”

Joel looks up from his book with a concerned expression.

“I didn’t get it,” I tell him when I hang up.

His eyes widen in surprise, and he sighs. “Fuck, Del. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” I say as I stand up and straighten out my clothes. “But thank you.”

I bend to pick up my things just as Joel puts his book away and stands up, lifting his long-sleeve shirt over his head. The dark tee he’s wearing rides up with it, and I’m momentarily stunned by what I find underneath. Joel definitely works out. A lot. His abs are directly in my line of sight, and if I reached out, I could touch them. I want to touch them. I can’t take my eyes away from the ripped lines of his chest and the V that—

“Delilah? My eyes are up here,” Joel says, as the tee slides back down his body.

Huh? Whatever he’s saying is not important. The words register, but I don’t know what they mean. I’m distracted. It’s not until the last slither of skin is covered that I snap out of it and look up to see Joel’s cocky grin.

“Feel better? You have the smallest of smiles on your face.”

Ugh, that’s embarrassing.I pout as I stand, and Joel laughs.

“All right, let’s get out of here. Bring it in for a hug,” he says with his arms open wide in a welcoming gesture. I’m still flustered from seeing his abs, but can’t resist stepping into his hold. He pulls me tight against him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. My face presses into his hard chest, so of course, I feel the blush rise up all over again. I can’t stop my thoughts from traveling where they shouldn’t—thinking about what’s underneath. I don’t usually drool over the male form, but what I wouldn’t give to run my tongue over his chiseled…what?!Apparently,I need to get laid.

“You’re an annoying little shit, but it’s been fun,” he says, pulling me from my inappropriate thoughts. I laugh because he just put into words exactly how I feel.

“Right back at you, Joelle.”

Joel pushes me back but keeps his grip on my shoulders, looking me in the eyes. “On a serious note, I’m sorry about the internship. I was rooting for you to get it.”

My chest tightens, and I sigh. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”More than you’ll ever know. “There will be others, I’m sure.”I hope.

Chapter Six

Delilah

AsJoelpredicted,thefinal was all based on the additional text. Since I’d studied up on it excessively over the last two days, I feel confident that I’ve passed. Shoving my books into my bag faster than you can say “get me out of here,” I take off in a half jog toward the exit. I’m bursting at the seams to tell someone my news. Okay, maybe not just someone. Joel…I want to tell Joel.

We haven’t spoken since he hugged me goodbye, but for some reason, I can’t get the annoying—super-hot—jerk out of my mind, and I have no idea why.Could it be because he issuper-hot?Nah! Most likely because he’s annoying.

When I push my way through the crowd to the fresh air, I sigh in relief. Even though my main motivator for passing was the now nonexistent internship, I still feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I don’t think I ever really processed how much that failure had affected me.

I’m not a perfectionist—not by a long shot—but almost failing a class for the first time in my life…that hurt. I didn’t want it on my record, and I didn’t want it on my mind.

Even though I disagree with her methods, I will forever be grateful to my professor for giving me a second chance. She could have kicked me in the ass and told me to try again next semester. But she didn’t. And then there’s Joel. Failing brought me to him, and for some reason, that makes me feel better about it.Ugh! What is going on here?

I stop midstep when it hits me that maybe I’m not quite ready for Joel to be out of my life. Does he drive me crazy? Yes. Do I want to punch him half the time? Also, yes. But he somehow managed to burrow under my skin, and now I miss him.

Dammit! He’s going to love that.

I’m once again dragging my feet when I walk away from cheer practice later that day, but this time, it’s not due to physical exertion. For the last couple of days, practice has felt harder to get through. Almost like it’s become a chore. I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve been studying all hours of the night and not sleeping or because the internship is off the table. But it feels different. I’m not in any hurry as I walk off the field toward the main building, and I’m completely lost in thought when someone calls my name. “Delilah, how are you?”

Looking back over my shoulder, I’m stunned to see a smiling Dylan standing there. Considering how good-looking he is, I was happy to hear he was a relationship guy instead of a player. On top of his hot body and model-like face, he has these crystal-blue eyes that a girl could get lost in, and yet, he’s looking for love. Good for him. Strangely though, with all my feelings on him and his preferences, I don't feel anything else. There’re no butterflies around him, no curiosity of what it would be like if he chose me. Nothing. You’d think I’m already spoken for, but that’s definitely not the case.

“Dylan, hi?” I say, as he reaches me, frowning when my hi comes out as a question. “Sorry, I’m always in a weird headspace after practice.”

His smile pulls to the side, and he nods in understanding. “I know that feeling. And it’s all good. I just wanted to ask…how did your final go? Joel mentioned it was today.”

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Joel mentioned me…it?” I quickly correct.

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