Page 116 of Still Here Without You

He eyes me with a puzzled expression until I’m sure he notices the heat in my eyes and smirks. “Never usually, but it’s about to become a regular thing if it makes you look at me like that.”

I slap his chest and shake off my thoughts. It’s going to be a long time before I get him alone. I can’t spend the night turned on. Joel laughs as he links our fingers and pulls me into the house and straight through to the kitchen where everyone is waiting.

“Welcome to the madness,” he says before the laughter and chaos take over.

After saying hellos, we all break off into conversation, and Logan makes his way over to Joel with a smile. His messy blond hair is pulled back off his face, highlighting his tanned skin even in the winter.

“How’s my little man doing? Is he settling in any better?” Joel asks him, filling my heart with joy. While seeing Joel and Liam together once broke me to pieces, now I can’t get enough. Those two have bonded in the last few months, and it’s beautiful to watch. I’m not going to lie and say that it still doesn't hurt, but in the days after leaving the hospital, Joel and I talked about it at length, and he’s definitely helped me come to terms with it all. I hadn’t realized how much pain I’d been bottling up until my walls came crashing down. All it took was Joel looking into my eyes, asking me how I really felt, and I was done for. All my emotions hit me at once. And, it turns out that even though he’s always wanted kids, Joel had his own reservations about a natural birth. Despite his mom telling him numerous times that it was a freak thing, he still blames himself and worries that what happened to his biological mom could have happened to me if I were to become pregnant. We haven’t discussed what to do about kids, but we’ve got plenty of time, and right now, we’re focused on us and our relationship.

Logan’s face lights up at the mention of his little brother. “He’s doing well, man. Most of that is thanks to you.”

“Nah, your parents are doing a hell of a job too. And you do okay.”

“Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Since Summer moved into Joel’s place, we’ve been seeing Logan a bit, and it’s safe to say these two have become good friends. It helps that they both love motorcycles too. I think Logan probably rides more than Joel does these days though.

When the talk turns to said motorcycle, I wander over to Summer and Cory, who have now become my closest friends, along with Eli.

“So Cory, can we place bets on when Nate’s going to pop the question yet?” I ask when there’s a lull in conversation. It’s a running joke that Cory’s in on, but always riles Nate up. Right on cue, he calls out, breaking away from his conversation with Dylan. He’s always super aware of what’s going on with Cory.

“Would you stop? It hasn’t even been a year.”

“Christmas?” I say to Summer, ignoring Nate, while at the same time she says, “Tonight?” And we all burst out laughing. Nate shakes his head but the smile on his face is infectious.

I wouldn’t even be surprised if Summer was right and it was tonight.

When we’ve all settled around the table for dinner an hour later, Logan taps his glass to get our attention, and Summer slaps him with a laugh.

“I’m moving home,” he announces and then immediately picks up his drink, like he didn’t just drop a bomb.

The entire room stills until Summer squeals, and we erupt in laughter. Summer is not a squealer.

“You better not be lying right now,” she scolds, her entire demeanor changing as though Logan lying about this is a possibility.

“I’m not,” he says with a laugh. “I’m in the process of looking for a place. Even gave my landlord notice.”

Summer’s eyes widen. “But what about the surf?”

“I’ll miss that the most, but I’ll figure something out. Maybe I’ll go beach camping every other weekend. I don’t need much. I can sleep in my car.”

“I’d be up for a few boys’ trips,” Joel says from beside me, his lips pulling into a smirk.

Summer throws a spoon at him from across the table. “Don’t be so sexist; I love camping.”

“I know, Summer. Why do you think I smirked?”

Summer and Joel living together has been hilarious to watch. They’re like a married couple, much like how Dylan and Joel were. She’s perfectly molded herself into Dylan’s position and it drives Dylan mad. Joel even jokes about them getting matching tattoos, much to Dylan’s annoyance. Speaking of tattoos, Joel’s had two more done in the last few months and it’s sexy as hell. I get excited every time he tells me he’s got a new design in mind. I’m even considering getting one of my own.

The conversation flows as Dylan sets about carving the turkey. I’m listening to Joel and Summer discuss their latest binged television show, when my ears prick up at a quiet discussion between Logan and Lucy.

“So Luce, did you bring a friend for me again this year?” he asks with a cocky grin. I can’t help but grin myself. I wasn’t here last year, but I’m assuming he hooked up with Lucy’s friend.

Lucy’s eyes narrow. “I do have a friend coming after she finishes work, but you need to stay away from her. She’s not your type.”

“How do you know? I don’t discriminate when it comes to women. I like all types.”

Lucy laughs but she’s shaking her head. “She’s not the type of girl who has one-night stands, Logan. You don’t stand a chance.”

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