Page 109 of Still Here Without You

“That’s the third time you’ve thanked me. Is it nerves, or are you secretly wishing I was someone else?”

My eyes widen in shock. “I don’t…God, no. I’m so happy—”

“I’m kidding, Del,” he says, gripping my shoulder to stop my jitters. “I know you want me here. But I also know you want someone else. He’d be here in a heartbeat if you asked.”

“He said he was coming. But that’s not the point. I shouldn’t want him to be here. I need to set him free. Being his friend yesterday was hard but it put things into perspective. I finally think I can do it. That I can watch him move on. Find the love of his life.”

“Del, he’s already met her. I wish I could change your mind.”

“I know you do, and I love you for wanting what’s best for me. You’re just wrong in this instance. Now, enough with the depressing stuff. I need to get into the zone,” I say, bouncing on my toes while punching the air, like Rocky.

Eli pulls me close and presses a kiss to my head. “You’re going to be amazing out there. I’m proud of you.”

Wrapping my arms around him, I snuggle close, taking a deep breath. “Thank you, Eli. For everything.”

Putting the rest of the world out of my mind, I concentrate on the task at hand. My movements, my breathing, the timing of my jumps, the music, the coaches. My focus remains on the now, on this moment, as everything else ceases to exist. When the music comes to an end, I hit my pose and smile.I did it. I fucking did it.I’m out of breath and emotionally drained, but as I run off the mat, I feel invincible and more alive than I’ve felt in months, maybe even years. Some parts of my life might be turning to shit, but I just killed that routine. It was flawless.Iwas flawless. A giddy feeling runs through me at the thought of making the team.

I search for Eli, ready to throw myself into his arms, when I notice his somber expression. He’s looking down at my phone and hasn’t noticed I’m heading his way. My lips pull into a frown as I slowly approach him. I’m about to ask what’s wrong when he looks up, and his glassy eyes meet mine.

“What’s going on? Is that my phone?” It’s a stupid question, because I know it’s mine, but I’m so confused I ask anyway.

“It buzzed in my hand, so I looked down on instinct. Delilah, please don’t panic until we know what’s going on. But there’s a message here from Summer that Joel’s been in an accident. I can’t see the full—”

I grab the phone from his hand and frantically unlock the screen. It opens on the text message, and my heart stops.

Summer: Joel’s been in an accident. I’m on my way to the hospital and will let you know when I have more news

Without a word, I take off in a sprint toward the parking lot, hoping like hell that Eli will understand and follow me. I need him to drive.

I run through the doors of the hospital in a panic, frantically looking for a reception desk or someone I can talk to. When a nurse comes out of a doorway, I pounce. “Can you please tell me where Joel Haynes is? He would have been brought into the emergency room.”

“Are you family?” she asks, holding her hand up to signal that I need to stop.

“I’m…” I’m not. Fuck, I’m nothing, but I can’t tell her that. I need to see him. “I’m—”

“Delilah?”

I turn around at the sound of my name and find a beautiful woman standing behind me. I recognize her instantly from a photo on Joel’s wall, one I’ve looked at many times, and I’m lucky I saw that because they look nothing alike.

“Mrs. Haynes! Thank God. I mean, I’m so sorry. Is Joel…?”

“He’s going to be okay. He gave us a big scare, but he’s awake. I’m so glad I caught you. He’ll be so pleased to see you.”

The nurse looks between the two of us with a stern expression.

“I’m Mrs. Malcolm. Joel’s mother. I give permission for Delilah to see him.”

Mrs. Malcolm? I don’t have time to process this before she clasps my elbow and guides me down a hallway.

“I…um…you probably want some family time. I can come back—”

“Trust me. I know my son. You’re the only one he needs right now.”

I swallow a lump in my throat as my stomach twists into a knot. I can’t be the person he needs right now. It’s not fair for him to still be holding out hope. He could have died, and I’ve selfishly been stringing him along. My chest aches as guilt takes over. God, I hope he’s okay.

Chapter Forty-Three

Delilah

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