Page 107 of Still Here Without You

I’ve just made it behind the rocks when Joel’s hands wrap around my waist and I’m lifted into the air. A squeal bursts free as I throw the ball away in a hope that I can beat Joel to it when I’m away from him.

He drops me to the ground and falls to his knees beside me as we both take a moment to catch our breath. I’m still giddy with laughter so I wrap my arms around him and smile, until a thought comes to mind. “Did we win?”

Joel jumps up instantly and steps away, a small smirk playing on his lips. “You have to tag me first.”

Leaping up, I move toward him as he backs away. I’m close to victory, as he’s almost in my grasp. Reaching out, my fingers move toward his abs while at the same time he grabs my wrists in his hands to stop me from touching him. I don’t have the ball, so I don’t even think this counts, but I try to break free and reach for him again, just as he steps back and loses his footing, falling to the ground and pulling me down on top of him.

I’m laughing so hard that I can’t see straight until I feel his length beneath me and the energy between us shifts. Every part of us is touching, made even more obvious by the rapid rise and fall of our chests. My breathing’s still erratic from the physical exertion, but the rapid heartbeat has nothing to do with that. Smiles gone, our eyes lock and I’m trapped in his dark and intense stare. A pained expression crosses his face, and I find myself needing to fix it. To take away his heartache even though I’m the one that put it there. Before I realize what I’m doing, my head lowers and my lips seek his out. They’ve barely touched when Joel groans and turns his head away.Shit!What am I doing?My stomach swirls as I pull my hands from his grip and push against his chest to stand up.

“Wait!” Joel sits up with me, wrapping his arms around my back to lock me in place, the movement causing my hands to land on his chest between us. “Del—”

“I shouldn’t have done that,” I blurt in a panic. “I just…I just got caught up in the moment. I’m sorry.”

He stares at me—no, he staresintome—like he’s trying hard to find the answers he’s seeking. But he won’t find them. I’ve done a damn good job of keeping them hidden.

Closing his eyes for a second, he sighs before opening them again. “Can we talk? Really talk.”

“Now?” I ask, my head tilting in question.

Joel laughs. “No, not now. Somewhere more private. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Um sure, okay.”

I’m nervous, and I’m embarrassed. I can feel the heat rising up my chest and know that I’m turning pink. Joel squeezes me tighter and my hands move to his shoulders. It’s only then that I realize the intimacy of our embrace. My eyes focus on his chest, his neck, hell, his ears, anywhere I can look so I don’t have to meet his gaze.

He releases me with one hand, and moves it into my hair, keeping the other secured around my back. “I’ve never wanted to kiss you more than I do right now, Del. But you need a friend first.”

What?! My gaze shoots to his, and I see a warmth there that feels like home.

“Joel! Del! Who won?” Lucy yells, causing us both to grin.

“Let me be your friend, Delilah. That’s all I’m asking.”

I don’t know what to say, so I nod and allow him to pull me to my feet. We start moving toward the group when I notice the ball out of the corner of my eye. Taking off in a run, I grab it in one swoop and am back at Joel before he’s even realized what’s going on. “Gotcha,” I say, slapping my palm against his chest before running away again.

“We won!” I yell, slamming the ball down when I reach everyone, then cartwheeling in celebration. Summer and Cory cheer and Lucy jumps on Dylan’s back yelling “suck it,” while laughing in his face. Joel joins the group and Nate and Dylan give him hell. He lifts his shoulders in a shrug and smiles. “What can I say, she’s the better person.”

“Got that right,” Lucy says and everyone laughs.

The rest of the day is filled with joy, and I never once regret my decision to come. Being friends with Joel isn’t going to be easy, but for the first time, it feels like a possibility.

Instead of going in Dylan’s truck, I ride home on the back of Joel’s bike, and it brings me back to the life I had before it all went to shit.

When we arrive home, Joel walks me to my car, bumping his shoulder into mine. His grin is obvious, even though I can’t see his face. “Thanks for coming today, Del,” he says when we’re getting closer to goodbyes.

“No need to thank me. I had fun.” I smile, and it’s one hundred percent genuine.

“I’m glad. Hopefully it took your mind off tomorrow too.”

I cringe as the nerves hit me instantly. He’s not wrong though. It definitely took my mind off it. “Ahh, thanks for the reminder.”

Joel laughs. “You’re going to kill it. I can’t wait to see you on the mat.”

“Thanks, Joel. I better…” I point over my shoulder toward my mom’s car and then take a step back.

“Yes, go and rest. I’ll see you there tomorrow.”

“You’re coming?”

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