Page 100 of Still Here Without You

Liam peers out from behind his big brother’s leg, and my heart instantly breaks for him. To lose your mom in a car accident while you’re sitting in a seat behind her is too much for anyone to go through, let alone a four-year-old. Actually, he was three when it happened. It’s soul-destroying.

I stand when they reach my side and offer my hand to Logan. “Good to see you again.”

Dropping to my knee, I bring my height down to Liam’s and offer him the same hand to shake. “And you must be Liam. Your brother tells me you like motorcycles.”

Liam’s eyes light up, and he nods, but his grip stays locked onto Logan’s leg.

“Maybe later I can show you mine?”

That gets him talking.

“Yeah? Where is it?” He steps out of Logan’s shadow but keeps ahold of his hand. His head swivels around in all directions, looking for my bike. I can’t help but laugh at how adorable he looks. “It’s in the parking lot. We can head on over there in a bit.”

He nods and takes a step back toward Logan but stays by his side, instead of behind him.Progress.

Logan, Liam, and I spend the afternoon playing on the playground, kicking a ball around, or talking motorcycles. He doesn’t open up about anything personal, but I feel him warming up to me. Worn out after a long day, I’m walking back toward the parking lot with Liam on my shoulders. We’re singing “I’m Still Standing,” theSingmovie version, I’m told, though I’m pretty sure it’s the same as the Elton John one. When we get to the chorus, Liam sings his yeah yeah yeahs at the top of his lungs, using my head as a drum. Thankfully, he’s gentle, and I can’t keep the smile from my face. When we reach my bike, his eyes just about bulge out of his head as I set him down on the ground.

“Can I sit on it?” he asks in his cute little voice.

I nod to Logan, and he lifts him up onto the seat, holding him around the waist so he doesn’t fall. Liam starts making vrrmming noises as he pretends to be in a race, while Logan and I talk.

“She’s a beauty. I’m really considering getting one, but I’m not sure I can justify having both that and my Jeep. The Jeep’s so useful.”

“I’d never sell my baby, but I get it. I’ve got a matchbox car too because it was getting tricky with just the bike.”

“Can you get one, Loge, please?” Liam begs, and I laugh.

“I think you’ve gotta do it, man. The little champ has spoken.”

Logan laughs, eyeing my pride and joy once more.

When the afternoon comes to an end, I help Logan settle Liam into the car and buckle him in. Logan smiles as he watches on, thanks written all over his face. They must all be really worried about this little guy, and rightly so. Losing your mom so young and moving in with a father and stepmother you barely knew would be hard on anyone. Hell, losing my mom now would be like losing a part of myself.

As I say goodbye to Liam, his eyes start getting droopy.

“Looks like we wore you out there, Bud.”

“Nope, not sleepy,” he says through a yawn, and I laugh.

After I’ve closed his door, I turn to chat with Logan and see Delilah running in the distance. She’s impossible to miss with her long red hair bouncing around in a ponytail and her perfect little ass. A small smile pulls at my lips until it fades at the memory of last night, and an empty feeling takes over.

“Thanks again for today,” Logan says, pulling my eyes from Del. “Liam seemed to really like you, and I have no doubt that he might start to open up.”

“No problem. He’s a great kid, and I had fun. Can’t wait to see him again soon.”

“Are you sure we can’t pay you or something? My parents offered.” He looks a bit uncomfortable talking about this. Like it pains him to think he owes me.

“I’m absolutely sure. Like I said, I had fun. Your brother’s a champ. It was a pleasure.”

Logan smiles before laughing at something behind my head. I turn around to see Liam sound asleep.Guess we did wear him out.

We say our goodbyes and Logan pulls away, looking out of place in his parents' big Suburban. When he’s out of sight, I head over to my bike and almost slump against it. While I wasn’t lying when I said it was fun spending time with Liam, thinking about what they’re asking of me is pretty draining.What if I can’t get him to open up? Or what if I make things worse?Only time will tell, but it’s playing on my mind.

As I ride home, the temptation to stop by Delilah’s is strong, and my bike seems to move in that direction of its own accord. When I reach her house, my pulse spikes, and I find myself speeding up, desperate to get away. I’m the last person she wants to see right now, and I don’t want to cause her any more pain than I already have. When I reach the end of her street, I can’t stop myself from turning my head for one last glance. The second I do, a car blares its horn, bringing my eyes back to the road as I narrowly escape riding off the shoulder.Fuck, I’m an idiot.Shaking my head, I slow to a reasonable speed and ride home.

When I walk inside, Summer’s practically bouncing in anticipation to talk to me. I barely get in the door when she pounces.

“How was it? Did you love him? He’s amazing, right?”

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