Page 2 of Brews & Bartenders

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't think you should be alone right now. You can stay in the guest room for a few days until you get your bearings. Then decide what you want to do."

I shake my head. "I can't do that. Reaf and Bryce shouldn't have their schedules interrupted because my husband decided he'd rather have freedom from us."

There's the anger again. It's like a pendulum swinging back and forth. Sadness and mourning to intense rage. I don't know if it'll ever stop. If I'll ever feel normal again.

"Don't you worry about them." She stands and leads me down the hall. "They can handle anything. Who knows? Maybe they'll enjoy having you around for a bit."

"Yeah, because nothing says cool teenager like hanging out with your older sister and nephew."

"Don't be like that," she scoffs. "Just get your bags ready. I'll grab the food and take it to the car."

I feel horrible our weekly dinner was ruined. It's not my fault, but I'm certain this mess isn't what she imagined walking into. At least, I don't think it's my fault. It could be and he was just giving me a bullshit answer to keep me from feeling bad.

A small part of me wonders if there is someone else. Someone who isn't overstimulated and exhausted after a day of taking care of a baby. Someone who can give him what I obviously can't when I pass out after David goes to sleep.

Mom must see the dark thoughts enter my mind. She must have had the same ones before Dad left. "Don't go there." She gives my arm a small squeeze before letting go. "Both of you need time to think. Giving in to your worst fears isn't going to help matters."

Easier said than done. She leaves me to pack and I can't help from going there once again. It's a black hole I should avoid, but it's difficult when it's consuming my mind.

In an effort to distract myself, I make a list of things we'll need. Ticking each one off mentally as I add them to a bag. It helps...sort of.

With my bag done, I set it outside our bedroom door. No, not ours. I don't know that it'll ever be that again. I can't dwell on it right now. I need to get through the task at hand. When we get to Mom's, I can grab a bottle of wine and drown my sorrows. David will be in capable hands, and I can let myself break down.

I head across the hallway to David's room. I throw as many clothes as I can into a bag. Grab a box of diapers and some of his favorite toys. My bag is already gone from the hall when I leave his room. Mom must have snuck back here to get it.

When I get to the living room, she has David strapped in his car seat. "I need to grab some bottles and formula."

"I already did," Mom reassures me. "If you think of anything else you need before you're ready to come back here, we can take a trip to the store." She pauses while I take in the house, we've made our home. "Are you ready?"

No. Not even close. I gaze around the rooms. Already they feel empty. Love is no longer filling the space. Only despair and heartache. I'm not sure what the future will hold. Reunion or parenting as a single mom? Only time will tell.

For now, I'm lucky it all happened tonight. Lucky my mom remembered our dinner night, and showed up at the front door when I needed her most. With one last look, I nod my head. "I'm ready."

1

Caroline

Geez,I need to remember I'm not as young as I used to be. Not that I went out much then. I was too busy trying to build a life with Nathan. That obviously didn't work out.

Out of the Ashes is modern and old at the same time. I remember when Angie's uncle owned the place before he passed away. I was still a teenager, but everyone knew this place.

It's right on the edge of downtown Asheville. I can't count how many times some group of nay-sayers tried to get it shut down. In their opinion, the clientele wasn't savory, and they didn't want that sort of trouble so close to the boutiques. It never went through. Thank goodness. If it had we'd have nowhere close by to hang out. We'd have to drive an hour to Dallas, or go to one of the neighboring towns. Since high school rivalries are a thing, none of us do that too often.

"Hey," Sam nudges my shoulder. "I'm going to grab us another drink. What do you want?"

"Surprise me." I grin. It's one of the few nights I can kick back and relax with my friends. I love David with all my heart. He's my reason for living, but sometimes a mom needs a little me time.

"You shouldn't have told her that," Kate laughs. "She's going to come back with something that will knock you on your ass."

I shrug. If she does, I'll call my mom or Reaf to come pick me up. Hell, I'll ask Bryce if I have to. Actually, that's a good idea. I've already had a couple of drinks and there's no way I'm getting behind the wheel.

Pulling out my phone, I shoot off a text to my baby brother. He's honestly the best option. Assuming he isn't somewhere hanging out with his friends. It's been a whole semester since he's seen them and I remember how that felt all too well.

Bryce: You got it.

Caroline: You don't have plans?

---