Page 7 of Fall Twice

I shake my head. “Radiation and a small surgery. Got to keep my hair, froze some sperm. Luck was on my side, just an average sabbatical, really.”

“Was this before or after your ex…”

“Before. And if it’s any reassurance, that isn’t why she left. We were together for a few months after I was in the clear, it’s just she wasn’tin lovewith me and felt more of a connection with her new colleague at her firm.”

She tips her coffee cup into my direction. “Her loss. And if it’s any consolation, my ex-husband and I were more roommates than anything.” Her tongue darts along her lips to taste the brew. “But fuck. Cancer. I honestly, I…” She looks away.

“Relax. It’s a thing of the past.”

“You could have died,” she bites back her reminder again. “I wouldn’t have known. I mean, would you have told me if it was bad? Don’t people have a list of who they contact, and those lists go way back?” she rambles.

Her tone surprises me slightly, or rather that she would be so affected by it.

I glide my finger along my top lip. “Only a small group knew. I thought about contacting you, and even typed and deleted the message a few times. But luckily, I didn’t get to the stage of who to contact in case you die. How about a happier topic?” I attempt to derail this morbid direction of catching up. “Still swim laps? Love cake? Or is there something earth-shattering to tell me?”

She rolls her eyes before she pinches my arm like time hasn’t passed. “This is kind of a big deal. But fine, I will play along. No to swimming. I run and knit.” She holds her palm up as my mouth gapes open. “I know, I know, a far cry from dancing on tables and downing tequila shots.”

I lean back and grin at this news. “Shit, you’ve calmed down, well, you seem calmer anyway.”

“We’ve only been speaking for a half-hour tops.”

“I can see it in your face. You seem… at peace.”

She laughs under her breath and crosses one leg over her other. “Trust me, that isn’t my mantra as of late. Getting a divorce feels like a death; nobody gets married hoping for a divorce. I’m just past the grieving state, and I have to make this all work, you know? The co-parenting thing, I mean.”

“I’m sure you will rock at it, the mom stuff and doing it on your own sometimes. Being a mom is always what you wanted and what you would be good at.”

Her eyes narrow. “What makes you say that? We didn’t exactly talk about a future when we were…” She waves a hand. “You know.”

I lean against a propped elbow on the side of the chair. “Not entirely true. There was that one time when we needed the morning-after pill.”

And for some reason, my mind took us there. We had hooked up for the third time and the condom broke, and we were far too relaxed about the situation. Looking back, that was the closest glimmer to creating a family I’ve ever had.

Lena looks around the coffee shop and back at me. “Wow, you are digging up the archives.”

“Considering our history, something was going to come up at some point tonight.”

Her head bobs from side to side. “Fair point.”

“What made you send me a message?” I wonder.

“Really, it was the coincidence of location. I mean, I thought you had a wife by now. Just felt odd to come here and not say ‘oh hey, what’s up, Reid?’”

“Say my name again,” I request.

“Reid.” Her tone is slightly confused.

Wow, my name on her lips is a throwback to a time of hard academics and survival mode to enter the big, bad adult world. Except for those nights and afternoons when we would just lie in bed with music on after I took her in ways that she would let me try.

“It’s good to see you again,” I admit softly.

Her face stays neutral as she studies me. “Don’t lie to me. It’s not like I crossed your mind over the years.”

“Come on, Lena, I cared for you. It’s not like I could ever forget you. By the way, you really should try the carrot cake here,” I attempt not to let us linger in the sentimentalism.

“Let me guess, they use ginger,” she mundanely retorts.

“You were always so smart.” I look into my cup and realize I really don’t need any more caffeine right now. “Hollows is right up your alley. It’s quaint and they have a fall festival. Thanksgiving was always your thing; well, they celebrate it like four months of the year here. The grocery store down the road has had a display of cornbread mix since the end of August.” I throw my thumb over my shoulder.

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