Page 27 of Fall Twice

“Any time.” I notice she’s kicking around a few leaves as we walk. “This is your season; you should be in your element.”

She glances up at me with a smirk. “I am. I just hada moment.”

“Considering you can now walk with a smile then I’m going to guess that your coping methods have changed since college. You seem a little less uptight, and don’t kill me for saying that.” Because she used to have a lot of panic attacks, often over little things. Coping with stress wasn’t her forte.

“I learned how to breathe.” Her words catch me off guard, and she looks off into the distance in admiration. “It’s always a good sign when the version of yourself that you are happiest with is the one in this moment and not the past. I never want college-me back.” She scoffs a laugh. “And you?”

I blow out a breath. “Definitely like today’s version of me. I’m pretty chill, still turn heads, and I’ve realized that life is unexpected.”

“You, of anyone, can understand that the most.”

“I like who you are now. You’re even better than before.”

She looks at me, puzzled. “Thanks, I think. You’re not bad yourself.”

“I guess we both lucked out then.” We smile in agreement before we continue to walk with our arms grazing. “Were you ever happy in your marriage?” I realize what I just asked. “Sorry, not really my business.”

“No, it’s okay. I can honestly say that we had great moments, and for that chapter of my life he was the one. But we also had a lack of moments, and it isn’t sustainable for the long run.” She sounds at peace with her thoughts then loudly exhales. “I think that I developed a theory that you can’t have both. You can have the one who will care for you, check the boxes, or the one who will bring you passion and nothing else. You don’t get both.”

“Huh.”

She side-eyes me. “Your ex was both?”

I groan softly and tilt my head to the side. “I guess it was maybe at one time, maybe one-sided, though. I was devasted when she ended the engagement, but after a while I realized it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Lena touches my arm. “See? Humans maybe aren’t meant to get both.”

My eyes go wide from that theory. “Wow, we just took a turn to the dark side on this conversation.”

It causes her smile to erupt again. “Never in a thousand years would I think we would be talking about this.” Her tongue glides along her inner cheek. “Anyway, do you want to maybe go to the grocery store and get a few things so I can cook dinner?”

My face must show that I very much agree with that plan. “Absolutely no objections from me.”

We continue on our stroll, walking back in the direction of my car, and we both notice a young couple looking at their baby in the stroller.

“Ah, they have no clue what’s in store. They’re still in the everything-is-peachy phase, the baby is young,” Lena notes.

“You wouldn’t do it again?” I wonder.

She looks straight ahead. “Marriage? Maybe. Big wedding? No way. Kids? I honestly don’t know.” Her tone is clear and confident. “You, Reid?”

“I’ve never tried any of those things. But I’m not sure. Probably not, but never say never.”

“I kind of pictured you ending up with someone ten years younger who probably has a tiny dog and detests kids. Or who was into inviting someone else into bed to make it a party.”

I smirk at her suggestion. “Wow, that’s some image. And for that, I’ll say that you will end up with someone… actually, I don’t know. But you will be happy again one day.”

Her eyes connect with mine in a way that can only be described as delicate.

And if I had to guess what she was seeing in my eyes, it would be someone who is confused about why I don’t see her with anyone else, quite possibly because for a second, I picture her with nobody but me.

I stopLena from moving any more dishes off the table. Collecting ingredients was hysterical, mostly because we listed all the things you could do with a squash. We ended up listing 103 things by the time we hit the checkout.

Now we’re at my place, with a fire on, music soft in the background, and we just finished wild mushroom tortellini and pumpkin pie.

“It honestly is a crime to humanity that pumpkin pie isn’t available ready to be bought at the store all year. I don’t mean that canned stuff, I want it ready to go at my beck and call.” She licks her spoon and then sets it on the plate.

“Clearly you are in better spirits, so I don’t need to check in again,” I say as I bring a few plates back to the kitchen.

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