Page 34 of Fall Twice

His upper lip twitches and then his jaw goes tight to one side. “Want to finally talk about it? We’ve kind of let that elephant in the room sit on the sidelines the last few weeks,” he mentions as he pours me a cup of coffee then offers it to me while I debate what to say.

Taking the mug, I know he’s right. “There’s nothing to say, is there? I wasn’t the one for you, and because of that, I ended up on a path that led me to Sean and ultimately Oscar. It all worked out.” I bounce my shoulders and inhale the smell of his expensive coffee, Italian, I think.

Reid leans against the counter with a spatula in his hand. “If you’re confident with that theory, then sure.”

“I am,” I persist and focus on my coffee.

I think I’m in the clear as he works the spatula under the egg. But then, so casually as he flips the egg, he asks, “Why was I a problem for you?”

“What do you mean?” I play oblivious.

“Last night, you said I have no idea what problem I caused.”

Shit. It slipped out.

I cluck my tongue inside my mouth. “It’s nothing. I’d rather not talk about it and instead enjoy breakfast.”

He studies me for a few seconds. “Okay.”

I already know it will come back to bite me in the ass.

Reid holds the spatula to the side, pausing mid-thought. “You know it’s not because I didn’t care for you, right?”

That’s what hurt the most, when I realized we weren’t ever going to be anything more back then. I know he cared. He cared a lot. When I was having a bad day or sick or simply needed a friend, he cared far too much that it never made sense to me. “I do.”

Our eyes meet and linger until the toaster pops up four pieces of toast. Breaking our locked gaze, he reaches over to toss the bread on a plate.

“I forgot to ask, do you take your coffee with milk or sugar? I’ve only seen you drink pumpkin lattes or chocolate espressos, so that doesn’t help me much when I’m serving you the strong stuff.” He grabs the pan to divide the eggs between two plates.

“I’m okay today with just black coffee. I think I may need the extra-strong kick.” I smirk to myself.

Reid hands me a plate and then indicates to head to the living room. We make our way to the sofa for a casual breakfast. “It’s been a long freaking time since I’ve done the awkward breakfast the morning after,” he admits.

“Yeah, I guess your fan club prefers being your sexual entertainment then leaving before daylight,” I tease.

“Something like that,” he replies, not elaborating.

“But this isn’t awkward, is it?” I ask as I play with the fork near my lips.

He smiles softly. “No, it isn’t. Actually, far from.”

“Good. Because I would kind of hate it if we ignored each other just because we decided our hands all over one another is a good idea.”

“An excellent idea, even.” His eyes stay planted on me, and I wonder what he’s thinking.

“I mean, that adjective may be a step too far, but sure, in the spirit of things. Excellent.” Because what we are doing would have my younger self frustrated.

Reid chuckles before biting into a piece of toast. “I should be grading assignments today, but I feel like I need to prove a point with you, plus we still haven’t had that shower.”

I set my plate onto the coffee table and my jaw goes slack. “You really want to do it on every surface here?”

He shrugs a shoulder. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Don’t you have memories here with your ex?”

“Nope. Moved here after the split. Why, would it matter?”

I tilt my head to the side. “Huh, I guess there is still so much to catch up on. I feel like I should have known that fact, just like your cancer-free anniversary.”

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