Page 143 of Begin Again Again

“So, there you go,” Derek said flatly. “I’m not judging your family. Can we have a beer or what?”

It would be stupid to cry, but Byron almost did it. He pulled a Panhead from the cardboard box and tossed it to Derek. “They’re good.”

“Yeah, that’s why I bought them.” He titled his head at the lounge. “In there? I’d say the porch, but I think there’s a guy out there taking photos.”

Byron blinked. He was about to say he hadn’t noticed anyone, but he hadn’t noticed Derek was in the kitchen until he was halfway down his first beer. “Sure. Lounge works.”

They sat at opposite ends of the couch, the way they used to. Derek cracked his can and drank. “Fuck, I forgot how strong these are.”

“Yeah, they do the job.”

They sat in silence for a stretch until Byron wished he’d just gone to his fucking room. What was the point of doing this if he and Derek couldn’t talk to each other?

You could say something.

Why should I? He’s the big man on campus. He can talk.

The thought was so immature it spurred him to action. He put down his Panhead. “Beth’s leaving for Perth. She’s gonna housesit a place for a few months. Eight, actually.”

“So, you’re breaking up?”

Derek was one of the few people who’d ask that instead of assuming it to be the case. Footballers travelled a lot, especially now COVID was fucking up the league. Distance didn’t mean a guaranteed break up.

“I think it means that,” he said. “Eight months and three thousand plus kilometres. We’d be fucked to try it.”

“But what did shesay?”

Byron thought back to Mrs J’s lounge room. He remembered a lot of things, but not much of what Beth had said.

“Didn’t catch it?” Derek asked, suppressing a smile.

“No. I was kind of thinking about the shirtless fuckwits you always see up there.”

“Yeah, Perth does pretty well for itself, considering.”

They both drank.

“She might want us to stay together,” Byron admitted. “I think that was the vibe anyway. She’s got a podcast she wants to work on, and she’s not into her job. I think she wants a fresh start.”

“Fair enough.”

Itwasfair enough. But at the same time, how could she leave knowing they’d just started?

“But you’re not into it?” Derek asked. “The long-distance thing?”

Byron thought about Audrey. Even before Beth—when she was still a beacon of all he wanted in his life—he was never tempted to restart things. Partly because he hadn’t really wanted her back, but also the distance made reuniting seem pointless. Just words they were saying to each other over the internet.

“Nah, I don’t think I can do it. Not being able to touch someone and all that…”

“Yeah, fair enough.”

They drank again. Byron figured he should ask about Tracy. He tried to think of a decent question, but then Derek tapped his can. “You know…”

“What, bloke?”

The nickname came easily, greased by Panhead. Derek grinned. “You should go with her. Get on your bike to Perth.”

Byron gaped at him. “How did you come up with that?”

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