Page 137 of Begin Again Again

He needed to get off the road. “Hold on a second.”

Sal waited as he drove into a loading zone and turned his hazard lights on. He could hear something large being moved around through the speakers. Were they packing already? “Sal?”

“Yeah?”

He blew out a breath. “I don’t get why you’re doing this. If they find out, Mum and Dad won’t talk to you ever again.”

“You don’t know that. Besides, they barely talk to me now!”

He didn’t say anything. Was Beth behind this? Beth, who tossed her hair whenever the subject of her parents came up. He rubbed his brow so hard it hurt.

“Say something?”

“Fuck, Sal, you’ve hit me with this huge news, what am I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know. How about ‘I’m happy for you for getting your shit together?’”

“Okay then,” he said, his temper rising. “I’m happy for you. I think you’re being an idiot and rushing into shit, but I’m happy for you. I want you to be happy.”

“But you still want me to make Mum and Dad happy more, right?”

Byron stared helplessly at his phone. “Can’t you chill for a second? We can meet up and talk this through?”

“I can’t, I have to pack.”

Byron heard his doorbell ring. “Who’s—”

“That’ll be Klaus. Okay, that’s pretty much everything I wanted to say! Talk soon.”

“Sal—!”

“What?”

Byron thought they’d hung up. Knowing his sister was on the line made him teeter. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Classic,” Sal muttered. “Then can I go?”

Byron shook his head. He pushed as hard as he could against the hard barrier in his throat. “I love you, okay?”

“What?”

They sounded so shocked, Byron was ashamed. “I love you. I want you to be happy, even if it pisses Mum and Dad off. I love you.”

“Byron.” Sal’s voice was watery. “I… thanks. I love you too.”

There didn’t seem to be much more to say. He said goodbye and they hung up. His sister was going. Going to another state to strip and start an OnlyFans. Fuck, what if his cousins found it? What if his parents found it? His reunion wasn’t far away—what if all the guys from school found it? And what had Beth told Sal? About housesitting? About parents? About him? It was speculation, but Byron could see her saying that what Sal needed was to strike out on their own.

And that’s a bad thing?

No. But yes. He rubbed his jaw. This wasn’t about him. It was fucking selfish to act like Beth couldn’t talk to Sal, that Sal couldn’t leave, couldn’t do whatever they—

Someone honked, startling Byron out of his seat. It was a passing Ford, not a cop, but he was too close to the active lanes for comfort. He knew he should get going.

He turned off his hazards and threw on his indicator, waiting for a gap in traffic. He wanted a beer more than he could ever remember wanting a beer, a whiskey or even wine. A hole in the procession of cars emerged but his foot hovered over the accelerator. Maybe he shouldn’t go to Beth’s. He could head home, try to catch Sal, or at least have a shower and think this through? But if he went home, he’d be alone. Worse than alone, far as fuck from Beth with more booze than he could drink in a year.

He put his foot down and slid into the space between the cars, relieved that whatever happened he wouldn’t be deprived of the one thing that was easy right now—being with Beth.

The longer they were together, the less he could believe he’d ever fought it. She was smart, cute, so fucking funny, and thesex. The sex was something else. Byron had never fucked so much in his life. He’d thought he’d been running a pretty good record in high school and the early years of football, but it had been fucking amateur hour before Beth showed up. She made him come so hard he half-blacked out, made him feel like he’d never had a problem staying hard before. They were acting out fantasies every night, barely finishing one before a better idea called—her as a nervous virgin, him as a sleazy coach. Her as his best friend’s girl, him insisting they fuck on the sly and no one would have to know. Him as a pervert watching her get dressed through the window.

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