Page 114 of Begin Again Again

Another message.

I’m a fucking scumbag and I don’t know what I want and I’m a cliché and I don’t deserve you. Except I want to see you. I want to kiss you. I need to make you come again.

Beth clenched her thighs. Goddamn him. And goddamn Josh who was making his way toward her with a fresh Coke and sparkling water.

“Sorry,” he called when he saw her obviously panicking face. “I thought I was being all romantic, grabbing the drinks.”

“That’s okay. Thank you.” Beth slid her phone into her tote. “We might have to tag team.”

“Bathroom?”

“Yeah, see you soon.” Beth walked to the bathroom on shaky legs, waiting until she was in a locked cubicle before pulling out her phone again. Byron had already sent two more messages.

You’ve got the hottest body, Horoscopes.

Come over, we can do whatever you want.

There was a picture; Byron, shirtless, his jeans unzipped, looking like a gold rock-climbing wall. Beth closed her eyes. He said he didn’t send pictures. But here he was, sending them to her. What did that mean?

“Are you okay?” someone called from the other side of the door.

Beth started. “I’m fine thanks.”

“Are you sure?”

Jesus, what noise had she made?

“All good!” she called, exiting the photo and messaging him back.

Are you coconuts?

Her phone buzzed.

Fully. Come over.

I can’t. This is such a dick move, by the way.

I know. Sorry. Did you like the picture?

Beth could almost see his huge, male model smile, the imploring look in his green eyes. He wasn’t fucking sorry. A new message.

I’m going blind thinking about you. Put me out of my misery and come over.

She closed her eyes. She was hot and confused and Josh was waiting. If she wasn’t back soon, he’d think she was ditching him or having crazy stomach problems. She wanted to see Byron with every cell in her body, but she’d spent days,weeks, building herself back up after their fight. Wouldn’t meeting him on such short notice prove that had been a waste of time? That all her talk of independence only applied when she had no real options? Another buzz.

We don’t have to hook up. I mean it, I can come to yours and have a coffee. Meet your mate Lara.

No, you can’t.Beth wrote back, fingers trembling.I don’t live there anymore.

???

I moved out. I’m housesitting somewhere else.

Checking the time, Beth saw she’d been in the bathroom for almost ten minutes. She needed to leave.

I’m on a date.Message tomorrow if you still want to meet up.

No reply came. Heart pulsing, Beth shoved her phone into her bag. She peed and exited the stall to wash her hands. Her eyes were bright in the bathroom mirror, darting around like she was on drugs. Her phone buzzed in her tote and Beth waited all of a microsecond before fishing it out.

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