Page 98 of Begin Again Again

“For what?”

He pulled her close. “We don’t have to go anywhere. We haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I’m pretty sure fucking in public is illegal.”

“We weren’t in public at the time.”

She smirked. “Sound argument, councillor. You’re paying my legal fees, by the way.”

“Fair.” He picked her up, carrying her sideways, just like in her wedding fantasy. They kissed as the new arrivals made their way down the rocky path.

“Should we just stand here and do it again?” Beth asked, not entirely joking.

“Tempting.” Byron jerked his head in the direction of the car park. “Head off?”

“Sure.”

They held hands as they strode out of the water and when Beth met the man’s gaze, he smiled politely and looked away. Beth saw herself as he did—the happy girlfriend of a big, strong, good-looking guy—and more than anything she wanted that to be true. As much as she hated it, as much as she knew it was a fucking cliché, her feelings for him were so much more palpable now they’d slept together.

I’m falling for him, she thought. Properly going down.

Her stomach dropped and for the first time she wondered if she would be okay if he left. If he didn’t feel the way she did.

“Hey.” Byron kissed her ear. “Want to know something?”

“Of course.”

He kissed her cheek. “I like the way we are together.”

“I do too.”

He shifted sideways, brows drawn, and Beth knew she hadn’t understood. “What do you mean?”

“I dunno, I just…” He picked up his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. “You give me space.”

Beth watched him, still not understanding. “You mean like we can just hang out together? No pressure?”

He ruffled his damp hair, mussing it perfectly. “Nah, forget it. I don’t understand it either.”

Beth picked up her dress and pulled it over her head.You give me space.She wedged her arms through the sleeves, feeling gritty and awkward.

“You give me space,” Byron repeated, waving a hand over his head.

“Oh! You mean space to think?”

“Yeah.” He flashed her a small smile. “I get quiet sometimes. A lot, I guess. And you’re… you seem fine with it.”

“I’m from a quiet family. I guess I was kind of trained for quiet.”

“But you don’t mind it?”

She thought she knew what he was implying. “Because I’m a talker?”

He smiled.

Beth opened her mouth to say she didn’t mind at all, then she remembered sitting on a plastic seat in Whatipu trying to get Daphne to play Uno with her. Her brothers and dad were fishing, her mum was buried in a Bryce Courtenay novel. A chill crept up her arms. She did mind, once. But that didn’t matter; didn’t mean anyone wanted to leave their books, their meals or their worlds to be with her. She swallowed, forcing the miserable memory away.

“It’s different with you,” she told Byron. “Or maybe I’m different. But being with you feels peaceful, not…”

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