Page 54 of Begin Again Again

Beth opened her mouth then closed it as fresh tears fought for control of her eyes. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

Byron moved forward, arms raised, as though to hug her. “Hey, it’s okay.”

Beth took a step back, flicking away the droplets running down her cheeks. “Sorry,Jesus. I’m not usually like this. It’s… been a big week.”

“Fair,” he said, dropping his hands.

His calm rationalisations and the fact she’d rejected his hug, only made Beth feel worse. “I mean it. I’m usually a functioning adult.”

“You mean you can pretend to be one.”

She frowned. “What does that mean?”

He shrugged. “We’re all pretending. All the adults. You look at kids, they’re just doing what they do. Everyone else…” He shrugged.Different ball game.

Beth was still a little taken aback. She brushed away the last of her tears, avoiding his eyes.

“If you’re sad, you should cry,” Byron said, watching her closely. “Everyone else should be able to handle it.”

“Do you cry when you’re sad?”

He gave her a rueful smile.

Beth smiled. “I know what that means.”

“Never said I wasn’t a hypocrite.” Byron brushed a finger along her jawline. “Feeling better?”

Beth’s insides warmed at his touch. “I think so.”

“Good.”

He stroked her cheek and for a second she rested her face in his palm, then she pulled away. Why was she letting herself be comforted by a twenty-five-year-old? Why was she moping about Christmas and explaining ‘hiraeth,’ instead of going on this goddamn date? She stepped backward. “We should get going.”

“We don’t have to see the show.”

“Yes, we do!” Beth rubbed furiously at her cheeks. Nothing would feel worse than bailing on her date—except maybe telling Lara she had a freak out and bailed on her date. “I want to go. I’m fine. Mostly just disappointed I didn’t get to give you my sexy entrance.”

Byron didn’t smile. “Can I be honest?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t want to go out and have you pretend to be happy or entertaining or whatever tonight. That shit stresses me out.”

Beth stared up at his tense expression. “I might be a bit flat,” she admitted. “But if you can handle it, I can. I want to see your sister’s show.”

“You’re sure you wouldn’t rather stay in…?”

“I’m sure.”

“Cool.” He pulled out his phone. “Then I’ll grab us a ride. Are you okay if I drink tonight?”

“Definitely.”

She watched him order the car, his face beautifully gothic in the glow of his phone, and wondered how much pretend happiness Byron had tolerated before now.

He shoved his phone back into his jeans. “Car’s here in two minutes. Let’s go stand by the road.”

He took her hand and led her down Lara’s garden path. Beth had to walk fast to keep up with him, but she was starting to enjoy their height difference. Next to Byron, she felt small, dainty almost. A novel experience for someone who wore an 8EE bra. They stood by the side of the road, still holding hands, and when Byron turned to face her, she knew they were about to kiss. She pointed over his shoulder at the nearby streetlamp. “So… have you electrocuted yourself?”

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