Page 135 of Begin Again Again

“Hi again, Mrs J. Is everything okay?”

“Bethany, I’m calling with a proposal.”

“Okay… what is it?”

“My sister-in-law has a beautiful property in Perth that’s sitting empty. It’s been broken into three times and the roof started leaking without her knowing about it for weeks. Thousands in damages… it’s been a real nightmare. So, I called and suggested you might stay there until she wants to come back over. That will probably be at the end of the year. September or maybe November.”

Beth’s ears began to ring. “Mrs J, are you saying…?”

“Would you be interested in housesitting for her?”

“I…”

“You might have to give an answer rather quickly, Leslie can be quite fussy, and I think the sooner you agree, the sooner we can put it to rest without her changing her mind.”

But Beth’s own mind had jammed. “I…? I really don’t know. I’d like to, obviously, and it could be perfect but—”

“Well decide and let me know as soon as possible,” Mrs J said loudly. “Bye then.”

She hung up, leaving Beth to collapse on the lawn. Mrs J was promising months of free rent in a new city. A new start. But Byron was in Melbourne and so was the new job she’d been all but promised. It was, she thought, a classic toss-up. Coulds and maybes. She could stay. She could go. She could take a chance on a man. Or she could take a chance on herself. She could stay where she was or she could take her own advice and begin again.

Chapter 21

How did you tell a girl you loved her?

Byron had only said it to one person—Audrey—and he’d been shitfaced. He had woken up in their hotel bed in Bali, his head pounding, and Audrey had told him he’d said it. He had no reason not to believe her, but it wasn’t exactly an experience he could draw on. So how did you tell a girl you loved her? For the first time ever, hewantedto say it. He could feel it tugging at him whenever he and Beth curled into each other at night, whenever she smiled at him over the dinner table.

I love you. I love you. I’m in love and life isn’t going to shit anyway.

Everything was different since they’d gotten together. Even his dad had noticed. Beth was the only thing Byron could think about. He’d had some close scrapes this past week, zoning out while he was doing the wiring. He’d caught himself in time, but still, pretty soppy to almost kill yourself because you were thinking about your girlfriend’s smile. Or her body. Her fucking body… Sometimes he’d got hard at work thinking about her sitting in front of him with her legs spread, fingers parting her sugar pink pussy. God, he wanted to lick her. He’d do that as soon as he saw Beth—lie her on the living room carpet and go to town on her in front of the ocean. His phone buzzed and Siri cut off Kerala Dust to read a message from Beth.

Hey, let me know when you’re on your way. I have news.

“So do I, Horoscopes,” Byron told his phone. “As soon as I figure it out, I’ll tell you.”

Kerala Dust came back on as he passed The Albion. Byron looked up at the big white building, shining in the afternoon sun. His indicator was on before he had another thought. Ten seconds later, he was parked in front of the pub.

“Fuck.”

Byron looked up at the place where he and his uni mates had gone for pints after Wednesday lectures. Three stories of polished wood floor and beer on tap. He inhaled, feeling lightheaded and stupid. Beth didn’t have to know.

But why bother hiding it? He could have a beer at Beth’s. She wouldn’t care.

But…

He’d said it on New Year’s Day, casually, as he and Beth drove back to St Kilda. “Might have a month off drinking.”

Her forehead had furrowed adorably. “You don’t have to do that for me.”

“I’m not. It’s been a while. It’ll be good to take a break.”

And he still believed that, but the thing was, he hadn’t expected it to be hard. And it fucking was. He’d never had much of a sweet tooth, but he was going through petrol station chocolate bars like crazy. Last week he’d bought a bag of gummy worms and destroyed the whole thing before he even got to work. And he’d discovered this inner voice. Booze Voice. It was slimy. If it had a job, it’d be in real estate. It’d be one of the guys who chased Derek around functions, trying to give him financial advice.

Hey, mate, it said when he opened the fridge.Nothing like a beer in the shower on a hot day.

The voice sidled up to him when his dad shouted Friday lunch at the pub.Coke’s for kids. Don’t be embarrassing. Get a beer.

He could have told Beth about it, but he didn’t. He had enough shit to worry about, like Sal and Derek and making sure he didn’t shock himself into an early grave. He ignored the voice and he ignored his cravings, but it shouldn’t have been this hard. When he set a goal, he kept it. That was unbreakable. It was what got him out of bed at 5am for training, kept him away from KFC and late nights. He’d always picked a point in the distance, aimed for it and got there. And now there was thisthinginside him, telling him he didn’t need to get there. This ugly little alien.

---