Page 132 of Begin Again Again

They shrugged. “I don’t think it matters. He doesn’t get why I need to get away from Mum and Dad. How shit the way they treat me feels.”

Beth chewed her lower lip. “Do you want to talk to me about it?”

“Could I?”

“Sure. Like I said, I have no idea what you’re going through specifically but I’m no stranger to family bullshit.”

Sal held up their glass. “Could I have another one?”

“Do you have to drive?”

They groaned. “Yeah.”

“How about a half one, topped up with ginger ale? I’ll mix. You fill me in.”

She turned to the mini-fridge, and Sal launched into the story. Their parents never used the right pronouns, challenged them constantly, mocked Sal’s partner, Klaus, and disrespected Sal’s decision not to go to university.

“I paid board while I lived at home,” they said. “I always worked, but that’s not good enough for them. It’s not classy enough. I have to getan education.”

They snorted. “Byron never finished uni, but that’s fine because he can work for Dad and inherit the business. But no one’s going to let me do that because I’m supposed to be agirl.”

They gave Beth a venomous look. “Once, I saidIcould take over the business and Dad laughed in my face. Said I was better off sticking to childcare stuff.”

“Dogshit,” Beth repeated, handing them a fresh drink. “So that’s why they kicked you out? Because you kept asking them to use your proper pronouns?”

Sal took a deep swallow of their half-Fashioned. “Nah. It was… something else. You won’t tell Byron, will you?”

Beth mimed locking her mouth and throwing the key across the bar.

“Cool. Well, Mum found me setting up my stuff for my OnlyFans and hit the fucking roof.”

“Oh!” Beth rapidly tried to collate what she knew about OnlyFans. “That’s like… Patreon for dirty pictures?”

Sal nodded.

“Fuck, okay. Is that… do you already have one or you’re working on it?”

“Working on it. But mum came in while I was posing for my pictures and freaked the fuck out. Like, I get it, to a certain extent, but she smashed up my ring light and tore up my new harness and she kept screaming at me, like‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this to us?’and I kind of lost it and told her to go fuck herself.” Sal swallowed. “It was pretty bad.”

Beth tried to imagine Sal and Byron’s glamorous mother in a blind smashing rage. It was kind of impossible. But that didn’t mean anything. She was sure there were plenty of people who couldn’t imagine her mother doing the things she’d done to Beth. That was part of the problem, wasn’t it? All those closed doors and false fronts—everyone hustling to preserve the family image over its individual members. She put a hand on Sal’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah.” Sal wiped their eyes. “I’m so tired of feeling guilty. I’m almost glad I got caught.”

“I get you.”

“Do you?”

“Completely.”

Sal frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to steal your thunder…”

“What, my sad-sack thunder?” Sal gave her a watery smile. “Please? I want to know.”

Beth tugged her bottom lip. “Okay. I started my podcast while I was at home, and it was kind of racy—”

“Like you did phone sex?”

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