Page 126 of Begin Again Again

Beth took his hand and pressed it to her heart. “I moved countries to get away from my bullshit. How could I possibly judge you?”

Byron didn’t smile. “I thought about moving too. Going up North, but I stayed. I thought working with Dad would be enough of a fresh start.”

“Yeah, I thought quitting drinking would be too, but it turned out to be the start of a lot of new things…” A cloud seemed to lift in Beth’s mind. “Because, you have to begin again,again.”

Byron gave her a look.

She grabbed his arm. “You can’t just change once and expect everything to improve. You have to keep going. Keep making changes to suit where you are in the moment. Like the seasons!”

Byron looked at her like she was hosting a Flat Earth PowerPoint presentation. “I mean… if you say so.”

Beth felt slightly offended. She was sure she’d just said the smartest thing she’d ever said. “You don’t think that makes sense? That we have to begin and then keep beginning?”

Byron have her a reassuring smile. “You’re quite smart, aren’t you, Bethany?”

“What?”

“You’re small. And pretty, and sexy, and small, and easy to cuddle…”

She scowled. “You’re not listening to me, are you?”

“Ah…?”

“You assho—”

He lunged, pulling her into his arms and tickling her sides. “You’re so cute and small!”

Beth struggled to hold onto her indignation as she shoved his hands away. “Thanks. I’ll be thirty in a month.”

“Even better.”

They wrestled on the sandy rock, rolling over a bag of marshmallows they’d yet to open. Beth tried to get her knee into Byron’s stomach as three fireworks sizzled into the sky. She pulled away. “Holy shit. Is it…?”

Byron pulled out his phone. The screen showed it was 12:01 on New Year’s Day. “Happy New Year’s.”

“Oh my god, it’s 2021!” Beth kissed him hard on the mouth. “Happy New Year’s! Wait, why didn’t the people on the beach do a countdown or something?”

As if on cue, the partygoers started chanting, “Five, four, three, twooooo.”

“Dickheads,” Beth and Byron said at the same time.

“One!”

A mighty cheer rose from the crowd and something about it, mixed with the sound of the ocean, made Beth’s chest throb like an open wound. There was something good about being near so many happy people with Byron.

He lowered his mouth to her ear. “Happy New Year’s, Bethany Myers.”

“Happy New Year’s, Byron Thomas.”

They kissed and it was insane how familiar he already felt—warm and close. Then a thought came effortlessly under the New Year’s moon.

I love him.

Beth curled her secret into her chest. She wouldn’t say it, she would be nuts to say it, but she could feel it. Her love had its own energy, its own oxygen, its own sweetness. A series of loud bangs shocked her back into reality and she watched a volley of fireworks go off—purple, pink, green, blue and silver.

“You have to give it to them,” Beth said. “That’s a fucktonne of illegal fireworks.”

Byron laughed. “I want to keep you.”

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