“No. I mean, if I seem freaked out, it’s probably because that’s my worst nightmare, being so bored and unsatisfied I won’t have the motivation to change things.”
“Oh Katie, don’t worry about that. Something always comes along and shocks you out of the slump, for better or worse.”
Was that what this was? Was Mr. Peterson being here a bad omen? The sign that her relationship with Ty would be ending? Or irrevocably changed?
Mr. Peterson straightened his wide surfer shoulders, releasing her hand once more. “It must be hard to be with someone long term when you’re at such different stages of life.”
Kate looked at her coffee. He didn’t mean it in a horrible way, surely? He was just concerned for her. Looking out for her the way he used to. “We’re not so different. Ty doesn’t want kids, and he’s notold-old, exactly, he’s…I don’t know…”
“Young at heart?”
“Don’t be mean, Mr. Peterson!” Kate swatted the air between them in mock irritation. Tyler Henderson wasn’t young at heart, he was something out of time, but saying that would be ridiculous.
“So, Ty’s happy to have an unconventional life?”
“I think so.” Kate chewed her lower lip. “Or I did. Lately he keeps talking about getting married.”
Mr. Peterson’s eyebrow went way up. “And how do you feel about that?”
“I don’t want to get married, but Ty wants it so badly.”
“Getting married for someone else doesn’t end well.”
“That makes sense.”
Mr. Peterson sipped his coffee. “You know, usually people our age aren’t naive about love. They understand getting married is more complicated than you think. Maybe your boyfriend’s a little immature, Katie.”
Don’t, Kate wanted to say, but she wanted to know what Mr. Peterson thought. “Really?”
“Maybe. If he hasn’t had to make a commitment like that, maybe he doesn’t get how challenging it is in the end.”
Kate stirred her spoon through her coffee. “When I was little, I thought the decisions I made would stay made, but the story just keeps going, doesn’t it?”
“Mmm.”
She felt a stab of irritation. That was a pretty good line, and he hadn’t even acknowledged it. Ty would have been impressed.
Mr. Peterson sighed. “Katie?”
Stop calling me that.“Yes?”
“Is there anything else? Anything troubling you?”
Another pang of irritation. Why was he milking her for sad stories? Didn’t he get that she wasn’t a weirdo teenager anymore?
Maybe Mr. Peterson sensed her discomfort because he pressed his hand to his chest, his heart. “It’s me, just like the old days. Don’t see it as a confession, don’t think too hard. Let it out.”
“Let what out?” she frowned. “I’m fine. I’m not perfect, but I’m okay.”
“But you seem unhappy. Confused.” Mr. Peterson was watching her closely, and when their eyes met, a tremor ran down Kate’s spine. His eyes…the way he was looking at her. It made her feel thick and full of mud. Like she’d stepped into a fuggy swamp. He wasn’t…was he?
Don’t be stupid. He just likes you. He was your friend.
He keeps touching my hand.
So? He used to do that on the bus, and it wasn’t wrong. And don’t flatter yourself, he’s not interested.
Kate made herself smile, an act that had always, would always be easy as breathing. As horrible as throwing up. “I’m fine, Mr. Peterson. I promise.”