Page 109 of So Steady

Scott didn’t look remotely ruffled. “Curiosity, mostly.”

Hard to argue with that, especially on the way to a shakedown as he gave tips straight out of Harold Newcomb’s mouth.

“My old man was the president of the mother chapter. I was recruited before I was ever recruited.”

“Did you like being a bikie?”

“I didn’t like it or not like it. It was all I knew.”

“So, why’d you leave?”

Noah had no interest in answering that. He tugged a cigarette out of the pack he’d pulled from the machine in the Edinburgh Castle. As he did, he glanced at the back of the van, the empty spaces where Nikki’s boxes and bags had been laid out just last night.

“Nicole got her stuff okay?” he asked, but Scott didn’t say anything. It was clear he wasn’t going to until he answered his question. Noah gritted his teeth. “We’re almost at Gil’s, we don’t have time to get into my memoirs.”

More silence. It proved they’d been listening to him, though that was more annoying than anything. He wondered what Nicole would say if she was here.

Not so nice the other way, is it?

No, it wasn’t.

So, what are you going to do about it?

What could he fucking do? He drummed the steering wheel, echoing Scott’s foot tapping. “I left because I couldn’t breathe.”

“Can you be a little more specific?”

This fucking guy. He lit up, tasting the prickle of tobacco. It felt almost new after his break and it eased the snarl in his chest. It still felt like a fist would come crashing across the back of his head if he talked about it. But maybe that meant he should. Burn that old loyalty and the shame underneath it. “I wanted to tattoo full-time, but I wasn’t gonna get the time while I was under my old man’s thumb. Which was where I was staying unless I wanted to do something about it. So, I left.”

“And now you can say you left a bikie gang because of creative differences.”

Noah didn’t want to smile, but he couldn’t help it. “Pretty much.”

“I’m sorry if I sounded aggressive,” Scott said in a different, more amiable voice. “The news just took us all by surprise.”

The smile faded from his face. “You think I’m still connected? That I’m a risk?”

“Not necessarily, but Sam and I have realised we don’t know much about you. So, we don’t know if you’re a risk and I think that concern is higher, now you and Nicole…”

Noah’s head pounded with nicotine and sudden, bright-hot fury. “Me and Nicole, what? You think I’m gonna hurt her?”

“I don’t mean it that way.” Scott’s voice was calm. “It’s clear you care for each other, but like I said; we don’t know you as well as we thought we did. We’re going to need some time and a little fucking reassurance, Noah. And if you can’t talk about your past with transparency or warn us before something like what happened with your ex-roommate happens again, Sam and I are going to have a hard time supporting your relationship.”

The worry in Scott’s voice was the only thing keeping Noah from pulling over and punching him in the mouth, because he’d rather fucking die than expose Nicole to The Rangers. That was why he’d stayed away, told her she couldn’t paste him into her storybook future even though it was killing him.

“Noah?” Scott asked.

“I’d never hurt Nikki.”

“I know that,” Scott said, and he sounded like he meant it. “She defended you. About stealing the money. She never believed you took it. She had a fight with Sam about it, then she went off and figured out Gil was skimming the cash.”

Noah felt a key slide between his ribs and open a place he didn’t want opened. At least not right now. He turned and met Scott’s gaze squarely. “After this, I’ll sit down with you and Sammy and tell you whatever you want to know, but we’re less than five from Gil’s and I need to focus.”

Scott settled back into his seat, looking pleased. “Sure. We okay?”

Noah took Sam’s boyfriend in, studied him like he was about to tattoo his upper arm, or paint his portrait. His milky skin made him look closer to twenty-three than thirty, but his eyes were calm. That said he was comfortable in his own skin, aware of limits. He’d never considered being mates, but maybe that could change, now he didn’t have anything to hide. “Yeah, we’re okay. Smoke?”

Scott shook his head. “Quit after university. Only have them when I’m drinking these days.”

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