Page 89 of So Steady

“I can stop.”

She smiled at him. “No, I think it was just a reflex. Besides, my mum’s been gone for twenty-two years. She doesn’t have a right to nicknames.”

She could feel him staring at her and fought the urge to say something conciliatory, the way she did whenever her friends asked about the mother-shaped hole in her life. Talking about Deborah DaSilva always filled her with the most uncomfortable rage. She wanted him to see it. To know she wasn’t,couldn’t, judge.

She met Noah’s eyes, saw tension roiling below the surface. “Can you please tell me?”

His jaw tightened. “Paula went to Silver Daughters this afternoon, her and Shredder.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. She’s got issues with drinking. Drugs. Tabby’s text said she was pissed, screaming and making a scene.” He sounded rough, torn open. “She told them about me. Told them everything.”

“You mean The Rangers?”

“And that I’ve been locked up. And whatever the fuck else Paula decided to let loose.” His cheeks looked grey beneath the stubble. “Tabby wasn’t happy, and she said Sam’s furious.”

She squeezed his leg. “She’ll get over it. She had to find out sometime. At least it’s over, right?”

But he continued to stare blank-eyed at the road. Nicole listened as some of her most precious possessions sloshed around in the back of the van. She remembered her watch and Aaron’s condom. Sleeping with Noah on her old bedroom floor. A floating sense of unreality washed over her. The day felt three long and two wide, and they were still seven hours from Melbourne. It wasn’t close to being over.

“Where’s Paula now?” When Noah didn’t reply, she squeezed his leg. “Noah?”

“Dunno. That’s why we needed to leave.” An ugly smile twisted his mouth. “What are we gonna say about us?”

Nicole blinked at him. “Pardon?”

“Sam and Tabby know we’ve driven to Adelaide together.”

“How?”

“Your ex called Tabby. Told her and Sam we fucked in his bedroom.”

Nicole gasped. “How does he know about that? We didn’t use…there wouldn’t be anyevidence.”

A ghost of a smile. “Dunno, I’d imagine he had a conversation with your neighbour.”

Of course, Mrs Harris had watched them kissing, seen her in Noah’s t-shirt. Probably tripped over herself to tell Aaron. She covered her face, as though she could hide from her sisters and Aaron, what they now knew. “That gossipy b!”

“Yeah, genie’s out of the bottle now. Tabby says Sam’s pissed.”

“But she isn’t?”

Noah grimaced. “She was kinda…hoping for something like this.”

“What do you mean?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “She came up to me after you got dumped. Told me to…you know. Help you get over it.”

Nicole felt like screaming. After her cathartic escape from Aaron’s house and their dream dinner, she’d been on top of the world—all ready for a fresh start. But the night had taken on the momentum of a runaway train. “She told you to sleep with me?”

“Yeah. Said it’d get you to stop chasing your ex. But, Nikki, I swear that’s not why I—”

“Please be quiet,” she screeched. “I need to think about things!”

Nicole pressed her fingernails into her cheeks, denting her skin. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world that her sisters knew about her and Noah—but it wasn’t fair. They’d slept together twice and hadn’t had a single real date. She was supposed to figure this out before Sam and Tabby could weigh in with their Muppet balcony opinions.

“Do you want kids?”

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