Page 74 of So Steady

“Come look!”

“I…”

She ran up to him and grabbed his hand. “Youhaveto come look.”

He followed her to the house and into her snow-white hallway. The place smelled strange, a flowery freshness undercut with something vaguely familiar. There was a picture on the sideboard—Nicole in a tight white dress with her arms around a guy in a suit. He had a long neck, curly hair and a distinctly cuntlike aura. Noah wasn’t one of those guys who hated white collars on principle, but this guy looked like a cunt. The way he gripped Nicole’s hip rubbed him the wrong way. Like he thought he owned her.

You don’t, Noah told the image.You were an ungrateful fuck and she’s leaving you.

She led him into a poshly decorated living room and he realised what it was at once—old party stank; flat beer, old wine, stale chips and meat fat. The source wasn’t hard to find; the coffee table was heaving with garbage. Cheese rinds, greasy sausages and strawberry stubs were all slowly rotting on expensive flower-patterned plates. “What the fuck?”

Nicole giggled. “Aaron’s been entertaining, but that’s not the worst part. The worst part isthis.”

She tugged him around a corner and inside a flash-looking kitchen, or he imagined it was flash in normal circumstances. Right now it was more putrid than the living room. Plates were piled on the marble countertop and every glass in the house appeared to be piled on the sink. The bin was overflowing, spilling food packaging everywhere. A crusty chicken carcass lay in the sink and a huge peach-smelling candle had melted all over the kitchen bench, giving the trash a disgusting faux-sweetness. Noah had a solid stomach, but right then he was close to heaving. “Your ex is fuckin’ foul.”

“You haven’t even seen thepiece de resistance.”She moved around the bench and pointed to a wine glass. “Look.”

Noah leaned forward and saw a black and gold square stuffed inside the lipstick-dotted glass. “Is that a—”

“Condom wrapper? Yes. And if you look over here…”

She directed his gaze to a plate covered in shepherd’s pie guts. He turned his head sideways and started to laugh. He couldn’t help it. It was that or puke. “Oh,fuck off.”

“I know!” Nicole was giggling hard and fast, a chipmunk on speed. “I always knew he was gross but that’s—”

“Disgusting.”

His revulsion only made her laugh harder. She threw back her blue-black hair and lost herself to giggles. He watched as she gripped the kitchen bench for support. Her hand was so close to the used condom, he couldn’t stand it. He strode over and picked her up.

“Where. Are. You. Going?” Nicole gasped, her body convulsing in his arms.

“Leaving. Right now.”

He carried her out of the house, placed her beside his van. She was still laughing and he had to wait a whole minute before asking, “How you feeling?”

Nicole wiped her eyes. “Good. Happy.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I can’t think of a better metaphor for Aaron than what’s in there.” She waved at the house. “That’s what he’s like, all this nice stuff covered in…”

“Shit?”

She grinned. “Yes. But I was the only one who ever saw it, and I never had any proof to show anyone. Even myself. After he did something mean I’d question my judgement because IknowI can be uptight and oversensitive. I never believed that he could be the problem because he always looks so good and knows what to say.”

She gave a giddy, guilty laugh. Noah stayed silent. It was that or asking for her ex’s car registration and calling in some old favours. Risk his good behaviour bond for the first time in years.

She was looking at him, waiting for him to say something. He needed to talk, but he had no idea how to put across the knotty tangle of his feelings in a way that made sense. This was the stuff of paintings; aubergine for anger, aquamarine for relief, rose gold because she was rose gold.

Her ex had been a dumb cunt to buy her a silver watch. She wasn’t silver, just like she wasn’t uptight or oversensitive. She was warm and bright, supple and strong. She glowed from the inside. She was rose gold. He opened his mouth and choked. Again. He cleared his throat. “What now? You want to get your stuff?”

Nicole blinked. “Oh, um, yeah. Sure.”

Idiot.He was an idiot. What the fuck was wrong with him? She was pouring her heart out and all he could do was nothing. Worse than nothing. Change the subject. But then what did he expect? He looked back at the house. “Where do you wanna start?”

“Upstairs, I guess.” Nicole pressed her lips together. “Oh no….”

“What?”

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