Page 85 of Degrees of Control

Charlie bit her lip, again at a loss for what to say.

James’ eyes were warm. “You knocked me on my ass that day at Ruby’s, told me to get the fuck away from you, polite as can be. If I hadn’t convinced you to fuck me I’d probably still be wandering around, dreamin’ about the girl with blue eyes.”

Charlie found her voice in time to say, “I would have been dreaming about you too. I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but you’re very good-looking.”

He laughed, then grew serious once more. “You, uh, probably know it already, but I can’t let you leave without telling you again…”

She knew what was coming next, but this time it wasn’t scary or insulting. This time knowing it made her heart race and her head feel the best kind of dizzy.

“I love you,” he said. “I’m in love with you.”

Charlie’s heart pounded even harder, even faster. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Even though I’m a meter shorter than you?”

“I don’t know what that is, but yes.”

“Even though my job is teaching people how to touch their toes and I hate meat and I have rape fantasies?”

He moved even closer. “Yes.”

“Even though I’ll never be happy unless you’re happy?”

Their lips were a millimeter apart. “Especially because of that.”

She smiled, her whole body buzzing with sweet, strange, wonderful energy. “Okay then. I love you, too.”

He kissed her long and slow and sweet. When they were done, he buried his face in her hair again and laughed.

“It feels different than I thought,” he said, his voice low and dreamy.

“What does?”

“Being in love.”

Charlie snuggled deeper into his arms. “What did you think it would feel like?”

James rested his chin on her head. “I dunno. I thought it would be more…volatile. Like I’d be all pumped up all the time, all jealous and firing on all cylinders.”

“So what do you feel like?”

He paused for a long moment, Charlie could feel his heart racing beneath her cheek.

“Calm. Strong. Like I can do anything.”

“That’s better, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He shifted beneath her, just a little. “I’m probably still gonna be fucked-up for a while. But I promise I’ll never take it out on you, or anyone, like that again.”

“I know. Though I feel obligated to say, I know your weakness now and I will exploit it to get more hugs.”

“That’s real cute, Blue-Eyes.” James kissed the top of her head. “There’s um, something else I wanted to tell you. I quit my job, well, I gave my notice. Finish up next Friday.”

Charlie gaped at him. “Are you serious? What about all your suits?”

James chuckled. “They’re in storage. I’ve hated that job for ages, it’s time for me to do something else.”

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