Page 69 of Degrees of Control

She hung up.

Somewhere inside she was hurting, but the shock was too fresh to process. She walked back to her friends without feeling her shoes touch the ground. Three pairs of concerned eyes locked on her own.

“Honey, is everything good—okay?” Sophia said, clearly trying to pull her sober self together. “What did James want?”

“He was trying to apologize.”

Jordan’s face was stony. “For what?”

“I think he slept with someone else.”

“Slut!” Hayley screamed, alarming several people nearby.

Sophia leaned forward, stroking Charlie’s face like she was a bunny. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

More tears prickled in the back of Charlie’s eyes. She was so fucking stupid for letting this come as a surprise, so dumb to think that what they’d done at her studio would change anything at all. “Y-you guys must think I’m the biggest sap in the world.”

“We don’t think that at all, sugar.” Sophia said, still petting her face. “James is obviously hung up on you. This is just what he does. Dumps girls, hurts them, runs away. Screws their sisters. And their moms. He’s trash. Hot southern garbage.”

Charlie stared down at the sticky carpet. “We had sex without condoms.”

Hayley and Sophia exchanged looks of horror. Jordan seized her by the shoulders and shook her hard. “What is wrong with you? We told you James is dirty! He’s a dirty, dirty man!”

“He isn’t, I mean he might have been…I just—I guess I thought things were going in a whole other direction. I trusted him. Oh God, I’ve really dicked this up, haven’t I?”

Sophia drew Charlie into her arms and began kissing her forehead over and over. “From the way he was acting, anyone would have thought you two were together,” she said between kisses. “He really went above and beyond the call of fucking you over.”

Hayley’s redheaded suitor came back with a couple of shots but she waved him away. “I’m comforting my friend. I’ll hook up with you later, Ron.”

Charlie half-laughed, half-sobbed as the redhead stumbled off.

Hayley turned to Charlie, her brown eyes bright. “Do you want me to kick his ass? I didn’t beat up Dale, but I honestly feel like fighting this corn-fed fuck stick more.”

Sophia nodded enthusiastically.

“Don’t do that.” Charlie wiped the tears from her eyes. “It’s not like that. You know he never made me any promises…”

“You want to keep sleeping with him, don’t you?” Jordan asked, her eyes narrowed. “You’re going to keep seeing him even though he screwed some other girl.”

“Yes.” Charlie hated herself slightly for saying it aloud, but it was the truth. She’d realized it as soon as she’d hung up. She’d never been a particularly jealous person and the thought of not having James outweighed any kind of right to monogamy she felt she had. She wasn’t ready for it to be over.

“He and I aren’t a couple,” she said. “We were never a couple. I was the one who lost sight of that with all this dinner and cuddling weirdness.”

Her friends stared at her with varying degrees of horror and contempt until Charlie knew she had to tell the whole truth. “I know I won’t be able to stay away from him. You guys know I won’t be able to stay away from him. Why not be realistic?”

Jordan pursed her lips. “Okay, you want to be realistic? Get your shit together and talk to James honestly about what’s going on. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can keep screwing but you need to pull away a little. And for the love of God don’t let him know he hurt you tonight.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Charlie admitted.

“Then you have to get out of the game. But there are ways of doing the fuck buddy thing without getting hurt. I’ve done it, Hayley’s done it, even Sophia had a fling with that weird bass player.”

“He was a drummer,” Sophia protested. “And he wassobeautiful. Such—”

“Strong fingers,” Jordan finished for her. “We know. Anyway, Charlie, you’re so much stronger than you realize. You can deal with an asshole like James, you just need to follow my rules and do exactly as I say. Understood?”

“I…yes.”

Hayley began a slow clap. “Jordie you are so wise and amazing and beautiful and you’re thinking like a man but you’re better than a man because you’re a lady.”

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