Page 19 of A Marriage Most Convenient

So cut and dry. She had to laugh. That was that. She wouldn’t be a good wife. At least she didn’t think so. “It’s doubtful I’ll be a good wife. I’m bossy and fussy and you’re so…” She grasped for a word. “Reticent.” She wanted to scream at him, force him to show some sort of emotion, but she knew that would get her nowhere.

Something flickered across his face—some emotion she did not recognize—but it was gone in a flash. “I will not beg you,” he said, his voice tight.

His words pinched at her already wounded pride. Why had he not mentioned his first proposal so many years before? When he’d once looked upon her with affection, and perhaps even lust in his eyes. Perhaps if he’d shown some measure of desire, she could have accepted, but knowing he only offered for her out of some misguided sense of loyalty to his sister made Charlotte want to recoil.

“Begging is completely unnecessary. I can assure you that while I wholeheartedly appreciate your kind and generous offer, I’m afraid I can’t accept. It wouldn’t be fair for you to bear the weight of my impulsiveness. I plan to retire to the countryside where my reputation will no longer be fodder for someone’s afternoon tea.”

He stood, staring at her a moment longer, then he turned on his heel and left the room without another word.

CHAPTER 7

Charlotte tiptoed down the stairs. Edmond’s proposal and the expression on his face before he left played over and over in her mind, making sleep impossible. The last few days had upended her life in the most unpleasant ways. It would seem guilt was her new bedmate. She would either feel guilt for not marrying Edmond, and thus ruining her family, or she could feel guilt for marrying Edmond to save herself when he had done nothing wrong. All of which was precisely why she wasn’t sleeping, and instead was sneaking to the kitchen for a late-night treat.

The kitchen’s wooden floor chilled her bare feet, and her nightgown offered little in the way of warmth. She knew the cook kept her favorite lemon cakes hidden in a piece of covered pottery. Sure enough, as she opened the lid on the painted ceramic container, the tart, citrus scent filled her nose. She inhaled deeply as she reached in and grabbed one of the small pastries.

Gently replacing the lid, she bit into the tiny cake and allowed the tart sweetness to melt on her tongue. She closed her eyes; this was precisely what she needed to forget, momentarily, how everything had gone wrong. Not to mention the fact that she’d had not one, but two encounters with the Jack of Hearts and she still did not know his identity. Not that any of that mattered now. She’d have to quit the Ladies’ Amateur Sleuth Society when she moved to the country.

She made her way through the kitchen, into the darkened hallway, then stopped when she heard something coming from inside her father’s study. The door was pulled closed, but had not latched. While she couldn’t see anything, she could distinctly hear...her mother crying.

Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut, took a sobering breath and opened the study door.

Her mother looked up, swiping at her eyes guiltily as Charlotte crossed the threshold. “What are you doing up so late, my dear?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Mama. Went and pilfered one of cook’s lemon cakes.” She offered her mother a weak smile.

Her mother stood and walked around the desk, to a worn settee. “Come, sit with me for a minute. We have something to discuss. I was going to wait until morning, but since you’re awake, now works just as well.”

“I’ve made a mess of things, haven’t I?”

She sighed and patted Charlotte’s thigh. “Oh, my darling. We all make a mess of things sometimes. I heard you had a visit from Edmond, Willow’s brother earlier today.”

Charlotte nodded. “I did. And I turned him down. I did not want him to bear the weight of my impetuousness.”

Her mother cupped her cheeks. “Oh my darling girl, perhaps this sordid rumor is what prompted his proposal, but marriages have been built on far less. You’ve known each other for years. You know his sister and his family, as he knows yours.”

“He doesn’t know everything.”

“Nor do you. Willow’s family has guarded their own secrets where her mother is concerned. She is a few years older than me, but I remember her.

Charlotte recalled Willow mentioning some illness her mother had, and that she’d retired from Society all together.

“Charlotte, look at me,” her mother said gently.

There was no point in trying to hide her tears, so she just looked up at her mother.

“I know why you’ve said no to proposals over the years, and trust me when I say your heart was in the right place. You are beautiful soul and your father and I love you so. But there is nothing you can do for him anymore. The doctors say that while there’s no way for them to know when his end will come, his health keeps weakening, in addition to his senility. And we need to be prepared. My beautiful girl, you cannot stay here in this falling-down townhouse, waiting for your father to die.”

Charlotte’s tears fell in earnest now. “You shouldn’t have to endure it alone, Mama, and in the past, I’ve been able to soothe him.”

“All true. And unless you’re planning to marry someone in a traveling circus, I do believe you can still visit. Swallow your pride and go to Edmond. See if his offer still stands.”

“Mama, please.”

“Charlotte, no.” Her mother shook her head, her voice stronger now. “Now is the not the time to altruistic or misguided. That man offered you salvation. The appropriate thing to do is take it. He is a good man. A kind man. And dare I say, handsome. Perhaps it is not a love match as your friends have made, but it does not mean that it could not grow into such a thing.”

“What if he rejects me?”

Her mother exhaled slowly. “Then we will deal with that if we must. But you cannot keep throwing away your future, especially now that your sister’s future is at stake too. Edmond will treat you right. Go to him.”

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