Page 76 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

Chapter 19

Six months later

Mister Quinn stopped calling after I stopped answering.

It was surprisingly easy for me to cut him out. I moved out, sold his fancy sports car, bought myself something more practical, and threw myself into my work. I visited the local bars on the weekends and got plastered to try to forget my problems.

Mister Quinn had indeed found me a nice little apartment in DC that I could afford with my new salary. I didn’t have much stuff to put in it, but that was fine because it was extremely small. I spent as little time there as possible.

I worked as a PA for a defense attorney at the CIA, and within about six months I was hired out from under him to work for the Regional Director himself. I loved the work, I was busy all the time, and I made a lot of money on overtime when he discovered I was okay with getting up at five in the morning and gathering up the entire office’s Starbucks orders and staying until eight at night finishing paperwork.

Cole Stewart was a liar and a cheat, but he paid me well and respected me. He never once made innuendos at me and he didn’t stare at my tits. We had a solid working relationship and sometimes he gave me interesting, exciting projects to mix up the monotony of the work.I met a ton of really interesting—and sometimes scarry—people.

But after months of monotony and routine, and nobody to love me the way I needed to be loved, I found myself skipping my meds and cutting again.

There was a very dark week where I stayed in bed, missed work, and threw in the towel on life, deciding to lay there until I didn’t wake up anymore. My boss sent someone to my apartment to make sure I was okay, and they sent me to the hospital when they found me dehydrated and lethargic. A day in the hospital on an IV with my meds forced into me was enough to get me back on my feet, and I promised my boss I’d let him know in the future if I needed mental health days.

I needed a mental health Dom,I told myself.Someone who loves me like Daddy did.

Fuck him. He didn’t love me.

I tried to tell myself that, but it never worked. Love was something you knew, not something you felt. And I knew I had loved him, and he had loved me. It just hurt that it wasn’t enough. It still hurt deeply that he had sent me away during the time where he needed me most.

At least, that’s what I was trying to tell myself. Because now that he was gone, now that he had sent me away, I wondered if I had misread and misunderstood our entire relationship. I began to doubt everything I knew about him and about the love he had shown me.

My solution to the problem was to stop thinking about it.

Imet Becca Huxleycompletely by accident. I was at a little cafe during lunchtime with a few of my coworkers who had tried to befriend me. We were chatting over wine and shrimp tacos when I saw a beautiful woman out of the corner of my eye. She was bullying the hell out of her waiter.

She was tall, muscular but graceful, with long black hair down to her waist. She wore a stunning necklace of red glittery stones that sat in her ample cleavage, and was dressed all in black, with black leather boots to her knees, and a corset around her blouse.

I couldn’t tell what she was saying to her waiter, but he was standing slightly slumped forward, blushing furiously, and looked incredibly uncomfortable. When he slumped, she mocked his posture until he stood up straight.

That poor kid makes minimum wage and does not have time for this shit,I said to myself. I hadn’t let my brat side out in almost a year, pretty much since Daddy had his car accident, and she was desperate to emerge.

I bit my lip.Not my job to say anything.

I caught the tail end of the woman’s scolding the boy when my friends quieted. “You’ll suffer the consequences of that, stupid little boy,” she was saying.

I stood up, my legs acting all on their own. “Hey,” I snapped.

The other patrons of the restaurant noticed me, as did the beautiful woman and the waiter. He looked horrified, and she looked confused.

“You can’t say that kind of stuff to people, especially people who are being paid to serve you. You think hewantsto serve your sorry ass? He’s a person just like you, and significantly cuter, so you should be nice to him. For fuck’s sake, calling your waiter a stupid boy, what a bitch.”

The woman’s eyebrows rose steadily as she watched me, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. But to my surprise, the young boy who she’d been scolding a moment before reached down and took her hand in his, lifted it to his lips, and then walked my way, trying to hush me and calm me down.

“Miss, please, if you would–”

“No! You can’t let people talk to you like that! She’s a total jerk! She doesn’t matter. She’s one stupid bitch in the world. She isn’t worth the tip. And if you won’t stand up for yourself, I’ll have to do it for you.” I nodded confidently.

The boy still looked uncomfortable, but before he could speak again, the woman called out. “Outside, Benny.” She left her plate half eaten, placed a bill on the table, and left the restaurant.

“Would you please... Come with me, miss? Just to talk?” he asked me.

I sighed dramatically. “Okay, but only because you’re cute.”

He blushed deeper and led me towards the door of the restaurant.

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