Page 336 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

Oh shit. I love this man. “Oh, Sir... I can’t wait until you’re home because I really want a hug.”

“You’ll get all the hugs and kisses you want, phoenix.”

I smiled. “Okay. Thank you for calming me down... I’m sorry if I interrupted something important.”

“They can live without me for five fucking minutes,” he growled, and then sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. But... I’m kinda tired, so I’m going to go to bed.”

“You’d better be inmybed when I get home. Take everything off except the cuffs, okay?”

“Yes Sir.”

“That’s my girl. I love you. Talk soon.” He hung up.

His final words repeated through my mind.That’s my girl. I love you.

I drifted through the evening, getting ready for bed and removing the bondage gear. Normally I would have climbed into my bed because I liked it when he came into my room and scooped me up and brought me to his. But tonight, I wanted to be good for him, so I did as he asked.

I unlocked the belt with the key he kept on his bedside table, removed the body collar, brushed my hair, and climbed into bed, snuggling into the warm blankets and pressing my face into his pillow so I could pretend I was snuggling into his chest.

The next morning whenI woke up, Reuben was already awake. Normally he kissed me awake and then went to start the coffee and do his morning workout, but today, he hadn’t. Or maybe I’d just slept really hard and hadn’t woken up.

I climbed out of bed and stretched, pulling on my black silky bathrobe and headed out to the kitchen to see if he was making breakfast. I collected my daily bondage so he could put it on me. He was in the kitchen cooking his eggs, and the pot of coffee was sitting on the table, our mugs ready. He had already mixed milk and sugar into mine.

“Good morning, Sir,” I said, setting the items down on the table. A something caught my eye—the purple ribbon I’d warn the other day sat coiled on the table.

Hold on... where had I left it yesterday?

“Sit down.”

My body went from cold, to hot, to numb in two seconds. Barely able to breathe, I did as he said, and sat at the table, staring at the ribbon sitting there between us.

I couldn’t tear my eyes off it as I listened to him slowly walk from the kitchen to the dining room. The sound of his shoes hitting the floor was the most ominous thing I’d ever heard.

Frozen in place, my mind spiraling out of control, I was suddenly afraid that he would hit me. He had slapped my face a few times, though always in play, and I usually liked it. But that tone... without looking at him, I knew I was in really big trouble. Real trouble. I resisted the urge to lift my hands to shield myself.

He sat in his chair across from me, setting his plate in front of him and pulling his mug closer. He waited until I met his gaze.

His face was completely devoid of all expression. I’d seen that face before... but it hadn’t been for a long time. Not since before we’d gotten together.

He nodded to the ribbon. “You need to explain this to me immediately.”

I tried to take a deep breath, but ended up choking on it. My eyes watered. I took a sip of my coffee to clear my throat, and almost spilled it because my hands were shaking.

“I... was just... practicing.”

“Practicing choking yourself to death?” he snapped. I winced at the sharpness of his voice.

“I just thought...” I struggled to speak, trying to take deep breaths and not match his level of rage. I was upset, but starting to get angry, especially at being attacked first thing in the morning.

“Alice–” He choked and put is mug down, covering his mouth with his hand and looking away. Fuck, he looked mad.

And suddenly, so was I. “What!” I snapped back. I could feel the sudden rush of madness as words spilled out of my mouth. “What, is it so bad that I’mtrying? You said you wanted me to be the best I could be! You said you wanted to help me not be afraid anymore! I was doing this for you! For us!”

His face hardened at my outburst. He stood up suddenly, towering over me like an angry giant.

Oh my God, he was really, really mad. My eyes burned, but they were dry as a bone. I dug my fingernails into my palms as I clenched my fists, terrified that I’d just done something I couldn’t take back or make right.

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