Page 282 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

There is some debate about “setting aside” dynamics, or temporarily putting them on hold in lieu of termination or release. Depending on the situation, this can be necessary in order to maintain the relationship between a couple. A dynamic can always be renegotiated or picked back up... a damaged relationship is much harder to heal, especially considering we are all, at the end of the day, just people. People get hurt, get sick, make bad choices, get scared, or have major needs or wants that change due to both internal and external situations. Always remember that the relationship between two people is crucial, while power exchange is nonessential.

~Excerpt from a blog post titled “Graceful Dynamic Exits and Pauses,” by Reuben Weston

Chapter 60

Iwoke up with a killerheadache. I’d taken a few ibuprofens before I went to bed, but it wasn’t enough to touch the throbbing in my brain.

God, I’m so stupid. Why do I do this? Why do I–

Stop. Your self-degradation isn’t going to help.

I sat up in bed to find a full glass of water on my bedside table, and a bottle of ibuprofen beside it. When I went to bed, it was half-full... Reuben must have come in and refilled it.

God bless that man.

Nah, fuck him. Using me as a power trip.

But I’m using him as stress relief and to get off.

No, I’m not. I’m in love with him.

No, I’m not! I hate him!

Ugh. Great. It was going to be one of those days where I was stressed and pissed from the first second of the day and was arguing back and forth with myself.AndI had a fucking hangover.

I forced myself out of bed and swallowed three pills and half the water, attempting not to vomit when the water hit my stomach. What the fuck was with my stomach in the morning, anyway? And what time was it?

Eleven o’clock. Shit. Weren’t we supposed to leave two hours ago?

Throwing the door open, I burst out of my bedroom, some part of me terrified that Reuben had left without me. But no, there he was, stoic as ever, sitting at the table in the kitchen with Simon Pierce across from him.

Both men looked at me. Both their eyebrows shot up at my nakedness.

Whatever. Fuck ’em both. “Is there any coffee left?”

“Yes,” Reuben said. “Half a pot.”

---