Page 263 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

“No. I told you I wasn’t going to let you go, remember? I don’t break my promises. I am, however, going to make a change to your punishment.”

She looked up at me, anxiously awaiting her fate.

“I think, knowing now a little more about what you go through on a daily basis both physically and emotionally, I understand a little more why cutting sugar out of your diet cold turkey was so impossible for you. Not only are you struggling against an addiction, the frustration and the physical side effects of that are more intense than I thought they would be. And your punishment wasn’t about making you hurt, it was about reducing your sugar intake for your health. So, I’m going to let you pick three days a week when you can have a sweet treat.”

Her eyes flew wide and she sat up in my lap, like she couldn’t quite believe what I was saying.

“You must do all your chores and tasks,” I added, “and Ireallythink we should increase your water intake, but you may have asmalltreat three days a week. A few bites of ice cream, a single lollipop, a kid-sized milkshake. Not a whole half-pint or an entire bag of chocolate chips.

“I really do care about you, little bug. And you’re wrong about me only wanting to own you. I do want to own you...becauseI care about you. I want the best for you. I want you to be healthy, but I want you to be happy. I’m a bully and an asshole, but I don’t actually want you to be miserable all the time.”

Her smile lit up her whole face, and I felt the tension in my shoulders start to dissipate. I realized with astonishment I hadn’t seen her really smile in almost a week.

No wonder she’s always horny. She wasn’t kidding. It’s a straight shot of pleasure and happiness, and probably shuts off all the other shit in her brain for a while. I’d choose being horny over being chaotically ecstatic and miserable too.

“Can... um, never mind. I’m still in trouble.”

“That was your punishment, wasn’t it?” I nodded to the letter. “And it’s complete. The only trouble you’re in is for adding two cups of sugar to the already-sweet tea I made you. For that, we are reducing the sugar to a healthy amount. We’re good, little bug.”

She threw her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. “Um... then, can I have just one bite of ice cream, please?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. I had a feeling she would ask.

“Yes, baby. Go get a spoon and bring it over here.”

We both had a few small bites of ice cream, and Alice cried and bounced around a little because she was so happy. For a while, we chatted and made small talk, and it was a nice reprieve from the weight that had hung over us the past few days.

She put the pint of ice cream away and made her way back to me, already looking a little down again. I patted my lap and she climbed onto me, straddling me and putting her arms around my neck. Her favorite place to be, apparently.

“You know, you said something in your letter that made me think. You said you struggled to give up control because you felt like you were out of control all the time, like you had so little of it that you didn’t want to give up the little you had left. Did I get that right?”

She nodded. “Yeah. That’s why I’m a bad submissive.”

“I don’t think you’re a bad submissive. I think you are inexperienced, scared, and hurt.”

“No, I’m bad.”

“Okay... maybe you’re a little bad. But I don’t blame you, and I think you can learn. And what’s rule twelve?”

“No saying mean things about myself,” she whispered. “Sorry, Sir.”

“Are there areas of your life that you can take more control over? Maybe if you have more, or complete control in some places, it will be easier for you to give up control when it comes to our dynamic. Does that sound logical to you?”

She cocked her head from one side to the other, not meeting my eyes. Finally, she made a face and nodded. “Maybe,” she acknowledged.

“Should we give that a try? Maybe for a week? See if it helps?”

“Okay. But what should I do? I don’t have a job other than helping you. I go out sometimes and hang out at The Lounge, or see my friends sometimes, but I don’t really do anything now that I don’t have a job.”

“What areas make you feel like you have control?”

“Um... eating what I want? You don’t boss me around when it comes to what I eat, you just want me to eat real food and eat healthy. And I appreciate that. Some submissives have to only eat what their Doms tell them, and I don’t have time for that bullshit.”

“Okay. So I’ll make sure not to control your lunch. But I do still want you to follow the parameters we’ve set into place, if only for your health. What else? I know I took control of your orgasms, and we haven’t gotten into much orgasm training yet. Maybe we should set that aside for now.”

She didn’t look as thrilled about that as I expected. “But you like it.”

“Yes... I do.I really do.It’s one of my biggest kinks, making you come on command, or denying you and watching you suffer. But if giving you back some autonomy over your own body helps you feel a little less like a tornado and more like...”

---