Page 255 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

She turned to face me and shouted, “I said,you don’t care about me!”

I felt like my stomach dropped out from under me. I couldn’t even answer her, I just stared back in shock.

Her voice shook and her eyes filled with tears. “All you care about iscontrollingme. You don’t care about me. You care aboutowningme.”

I stammered for a moment at her words. My voice broke as I spoke. “Alice... Do you really believe that? Or are you just saying that to be mean?”

Her eyes flashed and she clenched her jaw. Pushing her chair away from the table, she stood up, swallowed the rest of her water in one gulp, and set the cup back down on the table harder than she needed to. “I’m not hungry.” Whirling around, she walked pointedly towards her room.

“Alice!”

“Fuck you!” She screamed and slammed the door.

I pushed my plate away, unable to eat anymore. My throat was thick, like I was choking on air.

“Fuck.” I leaned forward and rested my forehead on the dining room table.

Okay. What do I know?

She got emotional because I told her I cared about her. She tends to push back out of fear. She’s probably afraid because she’s attached too and that scares her. This is her acting out, testing the boundaries, and making sure I mean what I said.

She’s having sugar withdrawals. She’s also probably in pain because frustration and anger make her physically hurt.

She doesn’t hate me. She can’t possibly. A dog only bites when it’s scared.

I heard Alice’s bedroom door open. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, a duffel bag thrown over her shoulder.

She even warned me this would happen. This is another fucking test.

“Alice, knock it off,” I said as she neared the door.

She ignored me.

“I know you’re scared. What do you need? What do you need from me that you are refusing to ask for?”

“I need to leave.” Her voice was deadpan, but her eyes were full of fear.

No. Not another one.

“One.”

She paused. She stood her ground, but she paused.

“Go back to your room. I mean it.” I rose to my feet, gripping the edge of the table. I fought to keep from shouting at her. “You want to test me? You want to push me? Fine.Do notdo it by walking away.”

She stood still for a long time. I was tense, ready to run after her, to shout, to count higher, to scoop her up and drag her back to her room if I needed to. But after another few eternal seconds, Alice whirled around and stomped back into her room, her head ducked to hide the tears running down her cheeks. She slammed the door, and a moment later I heard the high-pitched muffled sound of her screaming into her pillow.

I collapsed back into the chair and dug out my cell phone, my hands shaking.

Her words echoed in my mind.You don’t care about me. You only care about owning me.

My skin felt hot and the back of my neck was crawling.What the hell have I done wrong that she believes that?

I had no idea what to do or how to respond, so I refilled my water glass, tried to steady my breathing, and sent a quick text to Simon.I’m about to lose it, Pierce. She just tried to pack a bag and walk out of the house.

I had told both Simon and Becca about Alice’s upswing in bad behavior, and they’d both done their best to support and encourage me. Becca tried to give me tips on how to talk with her and support her. Simon related and told me about how he’d had similar experiences.

Simon replied to my message ten minutes later.Yep.

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