Page 192 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

“You know you talk like a fourteenth-century monk, right?”

She muttered a curse in Russian under her breath that I think translated to “you’re a bitch.” I laughed at her.

She finished helping me load the heavy plastic tubs into my car and selecting the clothes I wanted to bring with me while she told me about how Jake was trying to propose to her.

“He keeps coming up with ideas, but we are so close now that I can hear his mind from almost everywhere. He is getting frustrated because he is trying to surprise me.”

“How is he going to do it?” I wrapped my telescope up in a blanket to protect it.

“I don’t know and it’s pissing me off!” She growled quietly. {“I told him we should just get married and be done with it. He doesn’t need tosurpriseme with a proposal. He’s had the ring for over a year and he’s been carrying it around in his pocket.”}

She slammed the trunk of my car shut and I caught a glimpse of a rare facial expression on her. Her lips were pursed and she looked frustrated.

“Be humble and trust him,” I grinned, remembering she’d said that to me once.

She muttered another Russian curse under her breath.

“Hey Alex,” I said, remembering something I wanted to ask her. “Did you know about Reuben’s vision of me?”

She stopped, her face going blank again, staring at me without speaking. That was enough of an answer for me.

I tried not to feel mad at her, but it was really hard. “Why didn’t you just tell me,” I snapped. “And why didn’t you–”

I felt her mentally cut me off while she searched for the words. Climbing up and sitting on the trunk of my car, she stared off into the darkness of the trees around us.

“I know too much, Alice.”

She spoke softly, slowly, measuring her words. They seemed heavy as they emerged from her. “I know many things, most of which I should not know. I have learned that when I interfere, it is much worse than if I simply step back.

“My father taught me that lesson years ago, and I did not listen to him. But I learned it for myself recently. There are things I can do that nobody should be able to do. I have a very specific role here at this church, within this community, and with my job. But when I try to step out of line and influence or affect things I have no business in, it backfires every single time. And I am tired of hurting my friends.

“Maybe I messed up with you and Reuben. But I would rather have not said anything than said something and made a horrible mistake.”

I sat beside her on the trunk of my car, thinking for a while, trying to understand what it was like to know the thoughts, feelings, secrets, hopes, and dreams of everyone around you, and knowing it would be a disaster to do anything about it. It had to be stressful and emotionally exhausting.

“For the record, I did try to send you to Reuben, and I tried to push him your direction as well. He asked me if I recognized you, and I told him I did, and that I was sure he would find you soon, probably at his own bar. Then I told you to go to Reuben’s Lounge instead of that other club. I hoped you would find each other... I suppose I should have interfered more than I did.”

I thought back to the night I met Peter Woodrow. I’d felt like I was looking for something special and magical, and I’d found Pete at the bar. We’d bantered back and forth easily, him threatening to punish me for my snarky mouth, and me calling him on it until he actually did something about it. Very much like what I’d pulled with Reuben.

I hope we make it.

“Do you think,” I started, but Alex already knew my question, and she answered it.

“Yes.”

Yes, Alex believed we would be happy, that we would make it.

Practice the trust.

For now, I was going to believe it too.

That night before Iwent to bed, I saw that Cat had returned my flogger and my sharps in a little bag that she’d left on my bed. The flogger had been a gift from Simon a few years ago, and was leather with twelve tails, and metal studs with sharp tips secured into some of the ends. It was a brutal tool, and I figured I’d bring it with me and see if Reuben could do some magic with it. I sent him a photo of it as I climbed into bed.

10pm

Alice: (photo) Got my flogger back. Look like fun?

Alice: Alex helped me pack up the stuff at your house. I’ll be back tomorrow evening.

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