The stars on the ceiling were stuck on in beautiful swirls, intertwining with each other to paint a splash of greenish yellow light on the ceiling. And the stars on the bedspread were a little less bright, but they still glowed just enough to be seen.

“Why did you do this for me,” I whispered.

I felt him lean against the side of the bed. “Because I thought you would like it.”

I was quiet as those words hung in the air, like a kiss that hadn’t quite hit its mark.

“It’s not done. I wasn’t going to... I thought I’d show you later, at the end of the week, maybe on Saturday... but I stopped working on it, because I thought... well, I thought you hated me and...”

“I love it so much.”

“I’m so glad.”

Tears welled in my eyes again. Reuben’s romantic side was a little too much for me to handle right now. “Can I have some more water?”

“Of course you may.”

When he left the room to go refill my glass, I stared up at the stars on my ceiling, crying softly as I let go. I let the fullness and the enormity of my current situation settle over me, and I faced the truth full on.

I really liked Reuben, and for some reason, he really liked me. And even though I was absolutely terrified of history repeating itself, I wanted to try again. Not just for a playmate, not just for impact sessions when I needed it, but for something real, and beautiful, and emotional, and intimate. Something that mattered. Something that was big enough to break me... but something that would be worth the brokenness.










Chapter 22

Iwoke up to the quiethum of some distant electronic device. Hauling myself up from the pile of pillows, I inspected the room around me. It took a moment to figure out where I was and what was going on.

I was in the room Reuben had prepared for me. I must have fallen asleep.

I had a hell of a headache. Beside me on the bedside table was a glass of water, a few ibuprofen, and my cell phone, plugged in and charging.

He is really something else,I thought, and then shoved that thought away as I swallowed the pills. It was too early in the morning to think about the emotional epiphany I’d had last night.

Forcing myself out of the extremely comfortable bed, I followed the buzzing sound until I found myself in what looked like a small office turned into a gym. Reuben was running on a treadmill, wearing nothing but boxers.

Fucking hell. Talk about a thirst trap.

Maybe it was just me and my thing for big scary powerful men, but I was having a hard time looking away from him. His legs were thick and strong, his back was toned, and I could see the faint lines of long-faded scars. He had a little bit of a dad belly, but it kinda just made me want to hug him. I knew he was hairy from the time he’d taken off his shirt in the hallway, and I really wanted to sneak in and get a better look, but I didn’t dare.