Page 48 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

Chapter 12

Alice stared straightahead with wide eyes and a beautiful blush on her face. I was still buzzing with adrenaline and excitement, relishing her expression and the expressions of my friends when I’d stepped out of the elevator to make sure Alice did as she was told.

Cat looked at me with a smirk on her face and winked. Sophie couldn’t even meet my eyes, and she blushed. I’d never seen her blush before; I didn’t think she could with her dark complexion. Mark was grinning ear-to-ear.

My phone buzzed a few times on our way up the elevator ride. I sighed and turned my phone off so I could focus exclusively on my girl. She was still staring straight ahead, barely breathing, but she looked excited.

No... she looked turned on. That sweet, pitiful little moan that had escaped her lips was something I’d be hearing in my dreams.

The elevator door opened on the third floor, and I grabbed her by the back of the neck, walking with her to her room. Her hands shook as she opened the door.

Do not upset her. Cool it. You need to reign it in.

“Sit down,” I said, nodding to her vanity table. She did so and sat still, her back straight, hands clasped tightly. I stood behind her, my hands on the top of her chair so I could see her face in the mirror. “Get your notebook.”

She made a face and opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off with a look. She shut her mouth, swallowed, and then looked away and grabbed her notebook.

“Good girl.”

She bit her lip, staring at the notebook, and then opened it up to a blank page, waiting and staring down at it, barely breathing. My gut told me something was wrong.

“Alice, look at me, please.”

She slowly lifted her face just enough for me to see large tears dripping down her cheeks, her mascara running slightly.

“Why are you crying,” I whispered, trying not to sound cruel as I asked.

She sniffed and scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand, and then took a steadying breath. “I... people don’t... I’m not... good.” Her eyes got that strange distant look, like she was remembering something that happened a long time ago. Something she’d forgotten about.

I knew she’d come out of a few bad relationships, but I couldn’t help but wonder... when was the last time someone had taken care of her? When was the last time she’d heard those words directed at her? No wonder she was so desperate for attention.

I gently set my hand on top of her head, stroking her silken hair for a few moments. “I think there’s a good girl in there somewhere. I think she’s just scared.”

Her eyes flashed. “You don’t know anything about me,” she spat.

“I know half of my friends in DC miss you, and the other half are scared of you,” I said, remembering some of the conversations I’d had when asking around about her. “I know you don’t trust your emotions or your reactions because you’ve been told too many times that you’re over-dramatic and too emotional. You like things other people think are scary or disgusting or offensive, and you think it makes you a freak. You’re tired of trying to plan, drive, and navigate all at once, and desperately crave someone to tell you to shut up and do as you’re told, and then force you to do so. And... you think you’re broken, or that there’s something wrong with you. Is that a pretty good start?”

“Thereissomething wrong with me,” she said. “It’s called brain damage.”

“Okay,” I shrugged. “So you’re a little fucked up. Rough around the edges.” I gathered her hair in my hand and gently pulled until she lifted her chin all the way up, meeting my eyes as I looked down at her. “You think that’s going to scare me away?”

She stared at me for a minute, then said, “You checked up on me?”

“Of course I did. Had to know what I was getting myself into.”

She attempted to glare at me, but the effect was lost because she was so cute upside down like that, glaring like an angry kitten.

“You baited me,” she said.

I held in a smile and let go of her hair, and she righted herself, staring at me in the mirror. “Not in the least. If anything, you baited me.” I leaned forward, meeting her eyes in the mirror and whispering in her ear. “Are you okay?”

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