Page 333 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

Chapter 70

Istared at myselfin the mirror.

I had been staring for a while, trying to decide what I was going to do today. Sir was out all day at the hotel for a surprise inspection. I’d gotten up and taken my shower, and he had helped me into the belt and wrist cuffs. He inserted my piercing collar, taking his time with my body while he did. I loved the way it all came together on me.

He said he would get me a chain for the pendant so I could try wearing it if I wanted to.

I looked at myself, naked, wrapped in his bondage. I loved it, but... my mind kept flashing back to that purple leather collar, the one he’d made for me that matched the rest of my bondage set. He said he saw it in his dream. Maybe that’s what his vision was; me wearing his collar.

And I still hated myself for wishing he’d given me that instead of the chain. Because I would have worn it, even if it upset me.

But he was supposed to protect me and keep me safe, even from myself, so that meant he couldn’t give it to me.

Maybe that’s why I was so upset about the whole thing. I knew he wanted to give it to me, but he felt like he couldn’t. And I knew that upset him as much as it upset me, and it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him, like I was failing him.

He sent me a text:It’s going to be a long day, little bug. Send me a photo of you to help me get through it.

I took a few pictures, just to be bratty. He hadn’t told me he wanted to see anything specific, right? He’d just said a photo of me. I sent a photo of my feet.

Reuben: ...really? You want spankings tonight or not?

Alice: Yes Sir!

Reuben: Then send me a photo that you know I will enjoy.

I sent him a photo of me naked, wearing his chains and his bondage, angled just right so he couldn’t quite see any of the good bits. It always pissed him off, but it resulted in him being really possessive when he got home, so I did it anyway.

I struggled with my chores that morning. I tried doing what I normally did: putting music on and dancing and singing while I did the dishes and switched the laundry loads, but I kept getting distracted. I kept wondering about that collar.

Maybe, if I practiced wearing something around my neck, I could get used to it, and I wouldn’t be scared of it anymore. And then he could give it to me.

The idea motivated me to finish my chores, and I hopped in my car around noon. I needed to pick up supplies for dinner and find something to eat... and I needed to go by the craft store.

Ididn’t spend toomuch time out of the house. I was home a little after two o’clock, and I put all the dinner supplies away, and sent him a photo of the sandwich I’d had for lunch (he was making me do that now, so he knew I was actually eating). Then I took the spool of purple ribbon I’d bought at the craft store and a pair of scissors and went into the bathroom.

I cut a piece just long enough, and wrapped it around my neck loosely, tying it in a bow. It was much looser than a collar would have been, and it hung around my neck awkwardly. It didn’t look right, but... it was okay, and it wasn’t uncomfortable.

I slid the bow to the back, studying my reflection. Reaching behind me, I pinched the ribbon just a little tighter, making it look more like a collar, more like the one I’d worn before.

It was uncomfortable, and I didn’t like it. My head felt fuzzy after a minute, so I let go and let it fall open again. Maybe I’d just practice wearing it loose for a while and tighten it as I got more comfortable.

I got another text from Sir.

Reuben: Need you to do something. Send a large bouquet, white roses or lilies, about $200 worth, to this address, with a generic sympathy note. ASAP please.

Alice: I’ll do it now and forward a conformation to your email.

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