Page 32 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

I dug my fingers into my bad knee, sending a quick shot of pain through my whole leg.Stop thinking that way, Reuben. She’s not your girl. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

I needed to get Alice’s side of the story and figure out what had happened. It didn’t matter if she was my submissive or not – a Dominant friend of mine had hurt a sub in my territory, and that was a fucking problem.

Chapter 8

Christmas at the clubhousewas small. Most people left for the holiday, so only the permanent residents and the orphans were around. There were about ten adults there on Christmas morning, and it was really all about the children, so we let them open their gifts and then fall asleep into sugar comas before we opened our own.

I’d given Sophie a gift card to a local bookstore, since Mark had strictly prohibited her from buying any new books until she’d finished the ones she had. This way, she could buy them without getting in trouble.

I gave Alex a card and a drawing because Alex was surprisingly sentimental like that. It was just a page from a coloring book that I’d colored and thought really hard about how much I loved her while I colored it, because I knew it would, like, embed the emotion in the crayons or some shit. I don’t know. She’d explained it once but I wasn’t really listening. Anyway, she teared up a little and it was sweet.

I gave Cat and Reuben the same thing: a Brat Pass.Upon redemption, the ticket-holder is entitled to twenty-four hours of me not being a little bitch.

Cat laughed so hard she cried, which was a sight to behold because damn she was pretty when she smiled, and she didn’t usually let herself relax like that unless it was in front of the children. Reuben wasn’t there, so his card got left under the tree for his inevitable return.

And of course, my gifts were awesome. I’d confessed to Sophie that most of my toys had been stolen by my old Dom, so she and Mark had collaborated to get me a gift card to an online toy store. I think she knew I was stealing cucumbers from the kitchen late at night.

Alex gave me cash, which was really nice of her considering I was living here for free. Granted I was working, and she paid me a little bit, but it was nice to have some spending money.

There was a mystery gift under the tree for me that I suspected was from Scott Murphy. It was a headband with fox ears, and a pair of mitts that looked like paws. At the bottom of the bag was a fox-tail butt plug. I hid that part while opening the gift but put on the ears right away.Gah they would look cute with my leather dress.

And Cat? Well. She bought me a really cute leather miniskirt.

Cat also orchestrated both my and Sophie’s gift from the kids. Pretty boxes covered in stickers, glitter glue and macaroni, filled with pictures, crayons, and random pieces of jewelry and sticker books. My box had glow-in-the-dark stars inside. Sophie’s had bubbles.

Cat came up to my room after the excitement had worn down, as if she knew my crash was coming.

The morning had been lovely, but if I was being honest... I hated Christmas. I hated pretty much everything about it. I hated family get-togethers, and parties that were supposed to be about happy families. I hated being bombarded with the memories of what I’d lost, and the ache for the things I’d never have.

A five-year-old cherub with pink cheeks and a button nose, and a head of bright red curls danced at the edge of my mind, but I shoved the thought away.

Cat seemed to know all of this without prompt and asked me what I needed. And for the first time in a very, very long time, I told her.

“I’m going to cry or scream here in a little bit,” I said. “Unless you want to tie me up and hit me with that belt you’re wearing until I break.”

So she did. She gagged me with one of my knee-highs, put me on my knees with my face in the pillows of my bed, and spanked my ass with her belt.

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