Page 292 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

“Are you a one?”

“I’m getting to a two pretty fast.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, Sir.”

We were both quiet for a while, and I felt my anger simmering under my skin. My hand fell from her cheek to her neck. She put my hand around her neck and squeezed my hand, as if trying to get me to choke her.

“Sir,” she whispered. I stared at her, her eyes wide and full of emotion, her blood pulsing under my hands. “I need... help.”

I pulled her up to sit and made her look at me. “What’s wrong? What is it?” I checked her pulse. Her blood flow was fine.

“I can’t... breathe,” she whispered. “I can’t feelanything. I can’t... I can’t cry.”

I swallowed hard at the expression on her face. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, and her voice was thick with emotion.

But I wasn’t calm, centered, or focused enough to play. “Alice, little bug... I can’t hurt you right now. It wouldn’t be safe or smart.”

“Not even a spanking?”

“Not even a spanking.” I lifted my hand and stared at it. It was shaking a little. I couldn’t put either of us in that position.I was too fucking angry.

“Okay, well,” she stuttered, “at least stop being nice to me. I can’t handle it.”

I stroked her cheek. “But I want to be nice to you right now.” I wanted to hold her against my chest and hear her laugh, and forget about Robin, and about the possibility that there was a crazy man on the road crossing state lines trying to steal her from me. I wanted her to know she was safe.

She pointed up to the mantle above the fireplace where I had some pottery and knickknacks displayed. “I will knock all this shit over.”

“Ropes it is, I guess.” I sighed. At least I could tie her without losing control.Who knows, maybe it will help us both.

Standing up and throwing her over my shoulder, I made my way down to the playroom. She hung limply over my shoulder instead of her normal kicking and complaining, and it felt strange. It felt like she wasn’t herself anymore.

I need my playful fox back.

I pulled out a thick mat, and a few bundles of ropes in different colors, and began taking off all her clothes. She was wearing my belt under her skirt, and I couldn’t help but smile a little. She still needed that safety and control, even though she was scared of it.

“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you did it, but you won, okay?Asshole.”

“You know, I think we need to clear out the spank bank this week.” I added another eye roll to the app on the phone. “Do you want to know how many you’re up to?”

“Nope,” she said, popping her lips on the ‘p’. “I absolutelydo notwant to know.”

I started with her wrists, a simple tie to cuff them together, and then I bent her elbows and bound her arms behind her head. “Hey Sir, I have a question.”

“Okay.”

“You said you knew Woodrow would get what he deserved. How do you know that?”

I turned her around so her back was to me. Pulling her hair up into a ponytail, I wrapped a thin piece of rope over and over around it, knotting it securely, and letting the tails fall. “When did I say that?”

“When you were talking to Rachel at The Weston House.”

“You mean, when you were eavesdropping?”

“Sure.”

“I had a dream. I saw him in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs, in court, and then led away to prison.”

Alice was quiet for a while as I continued the tie, moving her gently onto her belly and wrapping the soft silk ropes around her knees and thighs. I left her there on the ground to get the surprise I’d decided to use and returned a minute later.

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