Page 115 of Ashes of Sin and Stardust

I looked up at Reuben, tears in my eyes, and let myself hurt at the realization that somehow, either I or Peter Woodrow had blocked Simon from my phone. I distantly remembered that he had taken my phone away from me after he’d collared me. What other numbers had he blocked?

I unblocked the rest of them just to see what would come through.

Sure enough, messages from Becca, Leanne, Jenny, Angie, and some of my other friends from The Underground came through.

Becca: Hey, you looked really bad tonight. You okay? Need anything?

Leanne: I know he’s hurting you. Please call me. You can crash with me.

Angie: Girl omg. What the fuck! You said you’d never go full time with him! What changed? Did he make you? I’m worried about you!

And more and more messages.

Why had I never thought to check my blocked numbers? Why had I gone on for the past eight months assuming all my friends had turned their backs on me, like it was a normal thing for people to cut me out of their lives?

Oh yeah. Because that’s what I do to people, so I just assume they’ll do it to me.

“I am so fucked up,” I whispered under my breath. I was shaking from embarrassment, sadness, relief, and whatever other emotions I couldn’t identify that were rushing through my body. Tears ran down my face and I attempted to wipe them away.

I stood up and hit the call button on Simon’s contact. He picked up in two rings.

“You okay Sprite?”

His voice was like a hug. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I spat out, and then tried to shove my fist in my mouth to try to stop my hiccupping cries.

“Hey, it’s okay... are you alright? Alice? Come on, hon, talk to me.”

“Shit, Pierce,” I whispered. Reuben handed me a tissue and I accepted it, dabbing at my face and trying to catch my breath. “I... he took my phone. He blocked you, I didn’t... I thought...”

“You thought I bailed on you? I said I wouldn’t do that, remember?”

“I know.”

“I should have come after you.”

Just hearing his voice was making me feel better again. Simon was a quiet, withdrawn, shy, but sadistic guy. He didn’t let people in very easily, but when he did, he was committed to them. Why did I think he would cut me off like that? It wasn’t in his nature.

You fell into your own trap again. You damn borderline fuckup.I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath to avoid sobbing again.

Fuck, Alice, get yourself together.

Reuben put his hands on my shoulders, the heavy weight of his large hands grounding and settling me a little.

“Sorry, Pierce,” I whispered. “I’m a bit of a mess right now.”

“Just tell me you’re okay. I haven’t seen you in months. Pete’s looking for you everywhere, asking people about you. Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m with Reuben. In North Carolina.”

He paused, and I held my breath.

“Motherfucker, that’s why he was asking about you...”

I coughed a laugh. “Yeah, I guess so. Um, please don’t tell Woodrow I’m here.”

“You safe? You feel okay? Because I’ll get in my car right now, drive up to his house, and take you home if that’s what you need. I don’t give a fuck.”

“I’m good. I promise.”

---