Page 40 of Girl Violence

When his cold fingers brush against her thigh accidentally, Josette nearly dies. Thrashing some more, Vince finally releases her. She gets up, brushing the dirt off her knees while he stays lying on the ground. “Come on, get up. You need to sleep this off.”

“In a minute.” He sits up and looks at her. Josette’s stomach somersaults, and she wishes her body would stop reacting to him.

Breaking eye contact, she glances around the park, ensuring no one is watching. She swears if she sees Alyssa poking her head out the bushes with her phone, she will punch her. “Come on, Vince. I want to go home—”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I finished it with Elizabeth, but I…I should have told you I had something complicated before touching you.”

Josette swallows. “Well, you said so yourself. We don’t know each other anymore. Maybe it’s best that we aren’t friends or whatever.”

“That’s not what I want.” He frowns. “It might be better, but it’s...not what I want.” He finally heaves himself off the ground, and although he sways, he looks Josette straight in the eye. “I’ve been thinking about things—like when my dad told us we were moving to London. My first thought was you and that I was leaving you here. When I told you, I remember you cried and did something I’ve never forgotten. You kissed me. You weren’t even my first kiss, but it didn’t matter because it was yours. I knew it was your first, and I loved that you gave that to me. When I eventually left, and the years went by, I’d think about that kiss from time to time, wondering what you were like now, but not daring to look you up…”

Josette sighs, “Vince, don’t.”

“No, let me finish. When I found out you had sex with Tyler, and he hurt you...I just, fuck. I don’t know. I got it in my head that I needed to show you how it’s supposed to be, so you don’t think a girl can’t be treated nice. But I shouldn’t have done that, and I was going to explain that, but Elizabeth showed up, and you turned up with Jason.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I just want you to know that I had fun that night. Regardless of what happened later or after, I had a great time. It made me remember how we used to be and how I hadn’t had that in a long time. It was nice to forget how much things have changed, and everything that happened after—what we did...was just a bonus.”

Josette’s eyes widen, but the lump in her throat won’t go away. “What are you saying exactly?”

“That it’s not you. It’s me.” He laughs suddenly. “Shit—I sound like the asshole from a movie.”

Shaking her head, Josette smacks his arm, even though it feels like her heart might fall out of her chest.

“Youarean asshole.” Josette soaks in his words, and although she knows he’s drunk, she also knows it’s Vince’s version of an apology. With a sigh, she links her arm through his. “Come on, let’s get home before you confess your undying love for me.”

He snorts as they stumble along, wrapping his arm around her shoulder instead. “Fuck this shit…fuck love.”

She bows her head.

Yeah…

Fuck love.

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

Monday morning arrives too soon, and Josette is back to work. Miss Finn is busy, so she’s not around to bug her, though she’s given Josette a long list of things to do—including extra for the days that she missed when she was off sick.

Vince is here, but he’s been given jobs to do in her office. He’s supposedly reviving her online borrowing service, though truth be told, he’s probably watching something on Netflix.

Josette can’t help admitting that she worried about seeing him today. After dropping him home drunk to his disappointed mother, who looked at him in a way that made Josette think he probably came home drunk a lot in London, she didn’t see or hear from him after that. And that’s the thing. Josette doesn’t knowwhatto make of what he said, and the fact that he hasn’t talked to her since about anything is annoying. It’s confusing.

Are they friends? Or aren’t they?

It’s not you. It’s me.

It’s not just him. It’s both of them. Somewhere deep inside of her is a girl still clinging to the boy he used to be, even though it’s wrong. Even though Josette knows this isn’t going to end well in some shape or form.

Josette shakes her head. Here she is, once again, obsessively thinking about him, no matter how many times she’s told herself to stop and move the hell on. If Vince wants to be friends, okay. If he doesn’t, fine. They can be stupid friends. Friends that won’t work because Josette knows what his lips feel like against hers and wants more.

Footsteps snap Josette from her thoughts. Glancing over her shoulder, she sees Miss Finn making her way down the stacks, inspecting her work as she often does. She looks around with a frown. “Have you done anything today?”

“You know, Miss Finn? I live for these conversations with you. Every morning I wake up and go downstairs to tell my dad how much I enjoy this enlightening experience working with you.”

She narrows her eyes, and Josette gives her a bright smile, hoping annoying her enough will make her go away so she can go back to reading one of the sappy romance books on the sly. “There’s a weird looking...fellow asking to see you. He’s waiting by the desk.”

“Who?”