“Yeah...” But she wants more, and she doesn’t mean any more second-hand smoke.
CHAPTERTEN
“Why him?” Vince asks while they’re still outside. The smirk he had on his face from blowing smoke into Josette’s mouth is now replaced with a frown.
“Why who?”
“Tyler.” Lifting his arm, he rubs the tip of his cigarette along the brick wall as she gazes at him questioningly. “Anyone can see he’s a player. Surely you knew?”
Josette recalls the first time she and Jenna hung around the group. After convincing Josette that it was time to be their own people, Jenna was curious and wanted to break free from her parents’ suffocating rules.
Since she already knew Austin through Vince, Josette thought they would be okay hanging around them. It was in the end. Austin was fine with them being around. The moment Jenna looked at Austin, she was head over heels for him, which meant it became a regular occurrence to go to parties wherever he was.
Jenna had wanted to know who Josette fancied. Since she’d never told her about Vince, her eyes had scanned the crowd until she saw Tyler sitting a little away, smiling over at her. She had said he was cute just to get Jenna off her back, even though she was still torn up over Vince, but the rumour got around quickly that she “liked” him.
Tyler had caught her at a party a few weeks later and kissed her against a car. She hadn’t felt anything but liked the attention. She liked that he wanted her. It was a new feeling to be desired in a way that felt grown up.
Josette had seen Tyler plenty of times with different girls, but he fed her lies, pretending to be friendly, thoughtful, and funny. Josette thought maybe shewasdifferent. Of course, Tyler taught her the harsh lesson that she wasn’t. She was just another girl to be had and used.
“I don’t know,” she finally says, but it’s a cop-out. Josettedoesknow why. She just doesn’t think she should say it out loud. It’s not Vince’s fault. It’s hers for letting herself rely on him too much growing up and feeling something missing when he left. Then for getting pressured into liking someone just because she was at the age to start noticing guys when the only one she had wanted was miles away. She wasn’t ready because when Vince left, no one took his place. Sighing, she adds, “You were right. He fed me lies, and my ego was inflated. Then, it turned into a bad experience.”
“And the sex?”
“It was, well...” Her face bristles with heat. This is intimate and beyond personal, but it’s also Vince, who she used to tell absolutely everything to. It’s hard to resist the old pattern. “It was very much all abouthisneeds. He was done in a few minutes, and it was sore.”
“Ah, hell.” Vince’s eyes darken some. “So, you’re telling me, for a guy who sleeps around, he didn’t give you a good time? Especially when it was your first time?”
“No.” She snorts, brushing it off. Tyler hadn’t even known she was a virgin.
“You do know that girls can have a good time, yeah? That they can orgasm?”
“Jesus, Vince.” Josette laughs, looking down at her hands, a bit mortified by the conversation’s route. But she hears his sharp inhale and knows he can see right through her.
“You don’t know, do you?” he questions, and Josette huffs out a breath. She turns away, making sure nobody standing around is witnessing her humiliation. “Look at me.” She reluctantly turns back to him, expecting some amusement, but she doesn’t see that. Instead, there’s anger and genuine mortification for her. “Tell me you’re joking.”
“How am I meant to know? He was my first. I hardly have anyone else to compare it to.” Despite what he may think.
“But what about porn? You’ve watched it, right? How two people are during sex?”
Oh, hell. What is this conversation?
“They’re actors. It’s not real.” He shakes his head, and Josette groans. “You’re really killing my vibe here.”
“Fuck…” He turns away. “I need another drink.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t—”
A scathing laugh escapes him, “Nowyou want me to stop?”
He goes inside, and from the window, Josette watches him head over to the bar. She lets out a deep breath. They’ve never had a conversation like that before. Sure, she asked questions when they were younger, but those were innocent.
Where do babies come from, Vince?Which he laughed at and didn’t bother answering.
Doeshegive girls a good time?
The thought of Vince giving anyone a good time makes her scoff with disgust. It’s not like Josette doesn’t know she can have an orgasm. She sometimes does, by her own hand, which takes ages to achieve when she’s alone in her bedroom. She never did with Tyler because it’d been too sore. And while it was disappointing, she figured it was just how it went.
From the window, she spots two girls dressed to the nines near the bar staring at Vince with grins on their faces. One of the girls nudges her friend’s shoulder, encouraging her to go and talk to him.