“It seems like you do. Like him—I mean.” My body shifted uncomfortably, and he shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For making you talk about this. It’s stupid.”
“I don’t mind.” And I didn’t. It beat thinking about how drastic my life had changed. Talking to him felt normal. Even when neither of us had felt normal in a long time.
“If you’d have known him longer, and if there were no rules, would you have said yes if he asked you to be his?”
Would I have?
My thoughts shifted to the memory of Adam blowing Vanessa off to walk with me. He was friendly, and I was sure that’s all it meant. Yes, I thought him good-looking, but I didn’t feel anything other than awkward and shy toward him. “I really don’t know. We weren’t even friends. And I didn’t feel a…a spark.”
He breathed a laugh, and I raised my eyebrow questioningly. “You believe in sparks?”
“Don’t you?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Love at first sight, singing birds and butterflies? It’s all fake.”
“I agree it’s not always like a fairy tale but having a deep connection with someone isn’t fake. How can it be? It’s probably the most real a human ever gets to feel.”
“What are you? A whimsical fairy?” he mumbled, and we both laughed, which was wrong. Forbidden. We both remembered where we were, and our smiles dropped.
My chest deflated as I secretly looked at him. He was handsome, the candlelight highlighting the parts of his face I found most attractive. It was cruel he hadn’t experienced anything. Not school or liking someone. Maybe not even sharing a kiss. But then, I knew nothing about him. He isn’t like Adam—a light that draws you in the second he walks into a room. Callum’s a darkness that threatens to encase everything in shadow, and it’s the darkness I’m most curious about. We always want to see what we can’t.
“Tell me more,” he eventually said, breaking my trail of thoughts.
Nodding, I told him everything I could think of about school. For those few hours, I was a typical teenager, or so I pretended to be. Telling him stories that weren’t mine, just ones I overheard in girl bathrooms and hallways. And maybe I liked that. Telling him about prom and parties I never went to but saw plastered all over social media. Those things were as alien to him as they were to me. He listened, soaked in every word with an indescribable expression on his face. It was a good distraction for us both. Better than drawing in a sketchbook or staring out of a window. Our world was stifled with demons at every turn, and yet, we had this.
Eventually, he yawned, and I mimicked the action. It was the early hours of the morning, and I didn’t know where time had gone. Sometime during the conversation, as it got later and our voices had to be quieter, he’d moved over to the bed and laid beside me.
“I’ll probably never get to finish school now,” I said, unable to hide the pain in my voice. I hadn’t meant to end the conversation on a sad note, but I couldn’t help it.
He didn’t reply, and quietness drifted around us. My eyes grew heavy, and as I was about to fall into oblivion, my hair was brushed away from my face.
I woke this morning before him and have been staring at him since. We talked, and I liked it, but he’s still a mystery. I shouldn’t speak to him. My guard dropping must be prompted by loneliness. Sighing, I look away from him.
He’s your enemy. Stop it!
Just as I’m about to get out of bed, my heart stops dead when the door flies open. It’s so sudden, I don’t have time to move and run into the bathroom.
“What have we here?” John laughs. Behind me, Callum bolts upright, eyeing his cousin with half-awake wariness. “My, my. Youdirtysinners.”
John steps toward me, and my body freezes when he strokes a finger down the side of my face. Jerking back, I don’t miss the flash of anger in his eyes as he turns to Callum.
“Did you fuck her?” I lose my breath at his disgusting words. “Bet you did, didn’t you?”
He laughs as Callum’s face darkens with anger. “Stop.”
“Did she bleed?” His eyes shift to the sheets.
“Enough, John!” Callum clenches his fists.
“I don’t see any blood, unless…” Murky eyes swing to me. “You’re not really innocent? Uncle did say boys had started taking an interest. Maybe you snuck out in the middle of the night and fucked them all? Perhaps our Lord should’ve checked before bringing you here. But he never listens to me.”
“Stop it!” I yell, and with a look that could kill, he suddenly grabs my hair. I scream as he tugs me forward and pulls me out into the hallway. Before Callum makes it, the bedroom door slams and John quickly locks it.
Coldness sweeps down my spine, and I cry out as he yanks on my hair again. “How about I show you what a real man is like,whore.”