Page 39 of His to Keep

“W-What?”

“Did you orgasm?” he asks. He must read my expression because he suddenly backs me up and presses my back against the tiles. Those are cold, and my breath hitches. “Show me. Show me how you touched yourself.” Dropping my hand, I slowly move down. Until my hand’s between my legs. He watches me as water drips down his face, his bottom lip rolling into his mouth. Looking up, he leans in and brushes his lips against mine. “I’m going to help you, okay?”

I nod nervously. I’ve only dreamed of doing this with him, and now it’s really happening. He starts by kissing my chin and then my neck. I moan when one of his hands rub my breast, his thumb and forefinger rolling my nipple and sending spasms through my body. Then he does something I don’t expect. Leaning down, his mouth covers my other nipple, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud, enough to make me moan out loud. Thank God the shower drowns out the sound.

I put my hand over my mouth as he does the same to my other nipple. Not even in my wildest dreams did I think someone’s mouth can do this. My back arches, between my legs throbbing unmercifully, so warm and hot. He lifts his head and kisses me again, tongue swirling with mine. Then he stops and lifts his head, kissing me on the lips again. “Trust me?”

Nodding my head, unable to speak, his fingers hook the sides of my panties and pulls them down. He’s going to see me, and although I’ve been naked in front of him before, he never looked. Not in the way he is now as he untangles them from my ankles. My face flames. Coming back up, he shifts and positions himself like he did in the library, only this time, his hand goes down between us. Before I can even think of what he’s doing, he touches me where it aches most, rubbing in slow, gentle circles that make me gasp. He leans me back against the wall as he works his fingers.

Keeping one arm on the wall and the other between my legs, my hips start to move, the same as how I did in the library, only this time, I’m grinding against his fingers. Each movement is slow, and the ripples of pleasure that suddenly come make me shiver.

“Callum.” I moan, forgetting where I am, what I’ve been through, and the things I’ve seen. I forget that we’re not meant to do this with each other. That we’re supposed to be hiding behind the illusion of friends. We were never friends.

Breathing heavily through his nose, he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I know it’s because I’m squirming away from him. Not because I want to stop, but because it’s so intense. Consuming. He moves his fingers quicker, and then that delicious sensation I was chasing in the library comes back, pulsating harder than ever.

He leans his head on mine. Maybe it’s the hum of the shower. The way the warmth rains down on us. The water makes each movement more fluid until I’m panting and digging my nails into his arm. Maybe it’s the way he’s watching me with hooded eyes, his erection constrained by his boxers every time I grind into his fingers.

“Ava. I want to tell you…” Moaning, I feel something build and build. “I like you too.” Plunging a finger into my core, I cry out and come apart, clenching desperately around his fingers inside of me. He holds onto me so tight as my first orgasm rocks through me, even with the uncomfortable pinch of this new intrusion. As the feeling fades, I’m left trembling and shaking in his arms as he gently removes his fingers. His lips capture mine then, and my body turns to mush.

“Fucking beautiful,” I hear him whisper as I lean my head back against the tiles with my eyes closed to catch my breath. My legs tremble as he reaches up and knocks off the shower. We stand for a minute or so, listening to water dripping off our bodies and trickling down the drain.

He helps me out of the tub and dries me with the towel. Every place he touches, I tingle, my skin now oversensitive. Dropping the towel to the floor, he takes hold of my neck and kisses me again. Heat once again flares inside of me, wanting more. “Callum…I…”

“I know,” he says, sighing as he tucks my wet hair behind my ear. “But we can’t.”

“Why?”

“I might not stop.” Stifling my desire, after I’m dressed and my hair’s combed, he stays behind. “I’ll be out in a minute.” Nodding, I leave him and flop down on the bed as he closes the door.

I like you, too.

I smile at his words. Putting my hand on my chest where my heart is, I sigh, warmth and something indescribable flooding me. Though, as I look around the room, my smile fades. I’m having my first time here in this dreadful place when I shouldn’t be. I like Callum, but I wish we had met on the outside. Everything would be so different.

Fifteen minutes later, he returns, this time fully dressed. When he sees my solemn mood, his forehead creases, and he lays beside me, pulling me into his chest. “What’s wrong? Was it what we did? Did I hurt you?”

“No,” I say, “I liked what we did, and you didn’t hurt me. I’m just sad that it has to be here in this house and not out there.”

“We wouldn’t have ever met out there,” he says, and I know he’s right, but I can’t help wishing things were different. “If he never chose you, you’d still be out there, and I…” He trails off, but I know what he was about to say. That he’d probably be dead.

Then I can’t help wondering if Father Aaron chose someone else—a different girl. Would he be the same with her as he is me? Would she be wrapped in his arms like I am now, her body still throbbing from her very first orgasm? I bite my lip. I can’t be sure that it’s stupid lust pushing this—a way of escaping this place for a little while because there’s nothing else.

“I wish we’d never have met.” I look up at him, weirdly not hurt by what he said because nothing about us is normal. “I wish you’d have better than this. Not stuck in this house, this room, with me. Not when all I can think about is wanting you.”

I mess with the button of his shirt. “Wanting me how?”

“Don’t ask me that. You shouldn’t have let me do anything tonight. I’ll be twenty next year—”

“And I’ll be seventeen.”

“It still feels wrong. The things I want to do with you can’t happen. If he finds out you’re no longer a virgin before the ceremony, he’ll kill you out of rage, and then me once he gets his money.”

I blink at him, soaking in what he said. “Why do you care about what your father wants for the ceremony?”

“I don’t—”

I sit up. “But you just said if he finds out I’m not a virgin before the ceremony, he’ll kill me, which I’m taking means you’re not going to do anything to jeopardize that.” I scoff and shake my head. “And after telling me that you like me and that you wish I had better? You’re saying I’m basically to stay a virgin for your father when it’s you who keeps starting this.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He sits up too. “Ava, come on. If we continue what we’re doing, you won’t be a virgin anymore. We both know it. This will only go further, and he’ll drive a knife through your heart. I don’t want that to happen, so no, I won’t do anything to risk it.”

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