Page 34 of His to Keep

He clears his throat, and I think he’s bemused by my sudden energy but also trying not to look at my legs. How the skirt of my nightdress has ridden up my thigh a little bit. Not intentionally—the dressesaregetting shorter. Still, a buzz of excitement nestles in my lower stomach, and for once, I truly feel like a sinner. “You don’t want to?”

He puts the book back into the drawer and slams it shut. “What are you doing, Ava?”

“What?” I ask coyly, knowing what I’m doing. Intruding on his personal space on purpose because I’m sick to death of all this distance. He lied to me before. Other times, I saw his desire for me, and I guess a part of me doesn’t want to let him away with it. “Why do we have to be so serious all the time? Can we not be friends?”

“Friends?” His eyes narrow with suspicion.

“Your father said I’m to be here with you for a while. At least until he moves me to that other horrible room, and I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“I don’t either,” he admits, looking tired himself, which relieves me. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said. I don’t know how to be around you. Not after tod—”

“Forget today,” I murmur, which pains me to say because I don’t think Icanforget. “We can start again. And you can begin by telling me about you all.”

“Is that why you asked to be friends? So you can pump me for information?”

Yes.

“Of course not.” My face flames when his eyebrow curves at my lie. “I don’t know anything about any of you. It might make me feel better to know things.” Learning more about the people I’m being forced to live with wouldn’t hurt. For knowledge is a powerful thing, and I need some power right now.

“What is it you want to know exactly?”

“Tell me about you first.”

“I’ve told you all there is to know about me. I’m nobody.” Reaching out, I poke his arm, ignoring his wince from my touch.

“Oh, look at that—asomebody,” I say with a smile, and he rolls his eyes, though I spy a possible smile he’s trying to hide in the corner of his mouth. “Tell me about your mother and father. How it happened.”

He pushes his lips together grimly, and I know he’s hesitant to go there. Maybe it’s too much to ask, and I’m about to say forget it, but he lets out a long sigh. “My father and mother’s parents were extremely religious. So religious that they wanted their sons to become priests and their daughters to be nuns. They pushed my father and his brother through school and then college, forcing them to study philosophy and biblical studies. It wasn’t long before his brother rebelled and ran, and I guess as a way of preventing that from happening with my father, his parents sent him to serve the Brothers.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a society of priests. Mostly large houses in the countryside. He was sent to one to live. But years passed, and he ended up failing his Master of Divinity. He was kicked out because the priests there doubted his devotion and celibacy—said his path was one of evil.”

My eyes widen. “Father Aaron’s not a priest?”

“Not on paper. My mother told me he changed when he went to that house. There was a priest there who was different from the others. Filled his head with corruption and extreme beliefs and notions. He got distracted by him and molded. But before failing his degree, he’d gone to his parents’ house to visit. Mother was the youngest and just turning fifteen. He saw her beauty and innocence and wanted her in a sick way. When suggesting to his parents that she live with him, they were appalled and told him no, that she was to soon join the convent. Then when he failed at becoming a priest, and he’d been kicked out of the house, they were furious and disowned him. A week later, they died by his hand, and he took my mother in the most beastly way a man can take a girl on the day of their funeral.”

Swallowing hard, I try to keep my breaths even so Callum doesn’t hear how uncomfortable I am listening to Father Aaron and Penny’s past. Father Aaron killed his parents to get Penny. Even the way Callum glossed over that part makes my stomach twist. That death is such a plaintive reality in his life. And Father Aaron, not being a priest makes so much sense and doesn’t at the same time. “I’m confused. How was he able to take over the parish here?”

“Forged documentation and references. Provided from his mentor from the Brotherhood. There are others like my father out there, right now, who are holding people captive in fenced communities or houses for the same beliefs. Each of them acting like kings of their domain and making people believe they’re being saved by them. I’ve sometimes overheard him on the phone to them.”

My throat tightens.Others? I don’t want to imagine that—not at all. It’s too scary. “And you don’t believe in his beliefs?”

“No, I don’t.” He shakes his head, disgust curling his lip. “It’s a lie that covers what they’re really doing. My mother may have done many bad things because her head is twisted by him, and I know she was the one who told you to run today. Still, before he made her truly go crazy, she’d often tell me of how life really is out there, and this isn’t it.”

“No, it’s not,” I mutter. “Life outside of here is beautiful.” I was limited to so much since Grandpa died, but I know how life is supposed to be. This world is nothing but crooked and disturbing, created by a man who is nothing but an extremist making up his own rules. How did I get so unlucky to fall into this web?

“Don’t cry,” he says, reaching out and wiping a tear that I hadn’t realized had fallen. I close my eyes to his touch, and he breathes out deeply, dropping his hand. “Come on.” He stands up and takes my hand in his, tugging me off the table. “Maybe that’s enough for tonight.”

“I’m not tired,” I yawn as he takes me over to the bed and pulls back the blanket for me. “I want to know more. Please?”

His wary eyes soften. “I will if you get into bed.”

“You’ll lay next to me?” I ask, and noticing his hesitation, I quickly add, “Just to talk, like last time? I miss that.”

“Okay. Just to talk.”

Getting into bed, I watch as he goes to the other side. After kicking off his shoes, he lies beside me, letting out a breath that makes my chest prick with sadness that he doesn’t have a bed to sleep in because I’m using it.

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