Page 52 of Worship

Wrapping my fingers around his neck, I arch my back to deepen the kiss. He groans, his tongue frantically tearing past my lips and touching mine. Tasting me as much as I am him. We kiss like that for a while. Slow and hard and so fucking good. Grabbing the backs of my knees, he lifts me and wraps my legs around his waist. I cling to him as he kisses along my jaw and down my neck, his erection pressing against me. My stomach loops and curls as I grasp his hair and clench my fist, rewarded as he inhales sharply against my neck.

“What do you want?” I ask, his nipples peaking as I run my hands over his body, his muscles quivering under my fingertips.

“I want a lot of things.” He leans in to kiss down my throat.

“Tell me.”

He pulls away, still clinging onto me. Gritting his teeth. “You, and that’s something you wouldn’t want to happen. Not ever.”

“Why?”

He doesn’t answer right away, and I’m only more confused when he does. “Because I will fuck you up more than you already are.”

He grabs the straps of the black nightdress he must have dressed me in and pulls them down over my arms. My breasts fall free, and I whimper when he cups them, thumbs grazing my nipples, adding enough pressure for me to feel it between my legs.

“You would finally understand the real meaning of ownership. I wouldn’t just own you. You would need me like your next breath. Crave me like the purest drug.” His teeth nip at my neck, punctuating each sentence. “And you would own me.” As if only just figuring it out himself, he releases me and takes a step back. His hands run through his hair in frustration. “This shouldn’t have ever happened.”

Bitterness crawls inside of me like a disease and a frown creases his forehead from my expression. At my disappointment. The fire is back in his eyes, and he reaches to grab me again. But this time, I pull away.

“You tell me to stop playing the victim...then stop treating me like one.” I touch his chest and push him back, forcing him to sit on the bench. He watches me warily as I kneel in front of him and grab his black shorts, but he slaps my hand away, hard enough to sting.

“No,” he says. “I won’t take pleasure from you.”

I reach for him again. My fingers brushing against his rigid length as I pull the strings loose. His teeth clench together like he’s in pain.

“God damn it, stop.” He catches my wrists, but I pull away from him and look down, seeing a pair of black briefs cupping his erection. I stroke him through the fabric, and he flinches. Grabbing my shoulders, he glares down at me. “Can’t you see I don’t fucking want you? Go back to bed.”

Humiliation burns through me, like a bucket of ice being thrown over me. But it’s not true. I know it’s not. “Youdowant me.”

His hands shake as he squeezes my skin, blunt nails digging into me. But I ignore the pain and pull the elastic waist of his briefs downward, enough to free his cock that springs forward, solid with moisture glistening at the tip.

My mouth pools. I’ve neverwantedto put someone in my mouth before. The sight of him quaking at my touch turns me on and I’m dying to taste him.

Iwantto own him.

Once again, he grabs my wrists and forces them to my side. “I will hurt you. Don’t.”

“You won’t.”

“The last time I saw you like this, you were sucking that fucker’s cock.”

My eyes squint. “And I bet you wished it was yours.”

“Fuck you, Heidi,” he spits, and I lean forward, licking his tip, tasting him. Oh, fuck. He tastes so good, and I wrap my mouth around his thick knob, stretching my jaw to take more of him into my mouth. He suddenly grabs my hair and yanks my head back. He looks menacing. Like he wants to kill me for real this time. “You have no idea how close I was to gunning everyone in that room down that night. I wanted to. And the way you sucked him off—”

“You think Ilikedit?”

“Yes.” I lay my hands on his thighs and drag my nails down his skin, tearing into his flesh but only leaving marks.

“I did what I had to do, unlikeyou.”

Despite him still having hold of my hair, I lean forward and lick him again, never wanting something so badly in my life. To taste him and fuck him with my mouth. He was right—I do crave him. I did back then, and I do right now.

I lift my eyes in time to see torture spreading over his face as he watches me take him into my mouth again. How I slide my tongue down his long length, lapping him up before sucking. “Does it feel good?”

I dig my nails in harder as he tries to stand, this time feeling his skin break under my fingers. His breaths get heavier. “Stop. For fuck sake, stop.”

I open wider, wrapping him with my mouth and move my head down until he’s hitting the back of my throat. I don’t stop, and every time I take a tiny peek, his eyes are intense. Angry. Insane for me.

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